Why me? >Woosan<

17

A few weeks passed, and somehow, they made it work.

But it wasn't easy.

Every time San saw Wooyoung, he was reminded how dangerous it was to want something this badly. They stopped going out entirely. Their dates became quiet things, movie nights, dinners at Wooyoung's mom's house, stolen moments between rehearsals.

Wooyoung's mom had become like family. She teased them sometimes, but San always noticed the kindness in her eyes.

"You know," she said one night, setting another bowl of rice on the table, "he hasn't smiled this much in years."

That stayed with him.

Wooyoung met the members too, and San wasn't surprised, they loved him instantly. Mingi dubbed him fun-sized trouble, which, to be fair, wasn't wrong.

Still, the fear never left.

Every camera flash. Every stranger who stared a little too long.

San felt the weight of it constantly. Not just what could happen to him, but what it could do to all of them.

Ateez was his dream.

Wooyoung was his heart.

And San was terrified he couldn't keep both.

-

One night at the dorm, he went to find Seonghwa.

"Do you have a minute?"

Seonghwa looked up from his book, immediately sensing something was wrong.

"Yeah. Of course. What's going on?"

San sat on the couch across from him, running his hands through his hair.

"What do I do, hyung?"

Seonghwa didn't answer right away.

"About Wooyoung?"

San nodded, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

"I can't keep hiding him. It's not fair. I'm scared he'll think I'm ashamed of him."

Seonghwa's expression softened.

"You're not ashamed, San. You're protecting him and he knows that."

"But for how long?" San whispered. "How long before he realizes this isn't worth it?"

Seonghwa sighed and closed his book.

"You can't live your life waiting for permission to love someone," he said quietly. "If he makes you happy, you fight for it. No matter what."

The words hit hard.

San stared down at his hands.

"It's just... the company. The pressure. The fans. If this comes out again..."

"Then it comes out," Seonghwa said calmly. "And when it does, we handle it together. That's what being a team means."

San looked up, eyes stinging.

"Hyung..."

Seonghwa smiled softly.

"You forget sometimes that you're allowed to want something just for yourself."

San swallowed and nodded slowly.

"Maybe you should talk to the company again," Seonghwa added. "Not as an idol. As a person."

"Yeah," San said quietly. "Maybe I should."

Seonghwa stood and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't let fear make your choices for you."