johnnie guilbert x reader

signing off

hello, i'm holly the author of this book

i love monster, my bed and my dog. i think im insane. i don't know how to not be it's all ive ever known.

one day ill pass and ill be at peace but for now life will just have to go on and on and on.

i've also figured something out, i like boys and girls. i don't think i've come to terms with it yet and that's ok i don't have to just yet.

i don't think ive ever belonged anywhere, i just need to stay on my own forever and ever i don't think ill ever find my person maybe i don't even have one

i have a difficult relationship with food and i think i always have but it got worse and worse and worse until it became unbearable

i like to help people even if it means putting myself at risk

i would like to work in hospice when im older and help people and their families

i don't think ill ever be happy again

im quite intelligent but i just know im losing it day by day as i know im going back into that dark place i tried to hard to get out of

i used to love writing but sometimes this didn't help me. i'd upload atleast 1000 words everyday and at one point i just crashed

i won't ever write again and im sorry

my friends don't like me and are so mean to me and when i think ive finally found someone it never lasts

i think there's something wrong with me

im not very pretty and that counted towards a lot of my earring problems since i used to be very very chubby, i mean now im not and im an average weight and i thought that would make me prettier but it doesn't it's just me and sometimes people are not pretty

i find beauty in everything and everyone i just don't believe someone can be ugly they all have specific features that make them unique but i dont, im just plain blank ugly

i think i feel feelings more than other people i just take them in too deep and experience them more than anyone i know

i like writing things like this i feel like it just lets me loose and i can talk about anything and everything

im finding life quite difficult at the minute and thats why ive come on here

but thats it for now
ill see you in another life i hope
i love you more than anyone could know.

holly signing out