All That She Needs

Part 14 : Asha

When I heard the front door close, I knew Aiden had finally left the house. I took a long, hard shower, the warm water streaming over me as I sobbed uncontrollably. I cried the most heart-wrenching cries, desperate and painfully raw and I hoped the sound of the water would drown out my sobs.

I felt marginally better after showering, but as I checked myself in the mirror, I winced at the sight. My face was swollen, and my eyes were red and bloodshot. I sighed, disheartened by my own reflection. I looked horrible. Knowing I couldn't face a day like this, I decided to put on a little makeup and take the day off from work. I needed a moment to regroup.

Sitting in front of my vanity mirror, I texted Dennis, telling him that I would be taking a few days off. His reply was instant, saying, Mr. Super Asshole is beside himself. He's already here, waiting for you, sitting in front me with knees bouncing like crazy and chewing his bottom lip [kissy lips emoji]. Even though it's adorable as fuck, I had to send him away. He's making me agitated. And I was tired fighting the urge to grab his disgustingly pretty face and tug those lips with my teeth.

I couldn't help but chuckle. Dennis always had a way of making me laugh, no matter how bleak things seemed. Another ping followed almost immediately. Are you okay? I should've asked that first before rambling about his lips [eyeroll emoji] Are you not feeling well? Do I need to worry?

I was about to text him back saying that I was fine, but he was already texting me again. Don't you dare say you're fine again, Asha. Or I'll have that word erased from the dictionary.

But I am fine. I texted back. Then I changed my mind. "Okay, I'm not fine."

And with that, my phone immediately rang. Before I could even say anything, Dennis was already screeching over the speaker. "What? Why? What happened?"

"Dennis," I pinched the bridge of my nose and held the phone farther from my ear. "It's too early for you to be breaking my eardrum."

"Something bad happened, didn't it? Do you need me to go there?" He offered, "I'll call Uber right now."

"There's no need..." I paused, then changed my mind. Dennis would cheer me up. After the kids go to school, I would be all alone as today is Sandy's day off. I would drive myself crazy with my thoughts and I needed Dennis to distract me. "Okay. Come over please."

After we hung up, I went downstairs, wanting to see my kids before they left for school. I caught them just in time as they were about to get into the car. Brody was already waiting with his hand on the door handle. Kayden gave me a sad smile and nodded, but he didn't say anything. Chloe, however, ran straight to me as soon as she noticed me, wrapping her slender arms around my middle and resting her head on my chest. My heart swelled and broke at the same time. I held on to her tight, as if she were my lifeline.

"We'll get through this, Mom. Love you," she whispered.

Oh, God. I could feel the tears welling up again. I was too choked up to speak, but I managed to whisper back, "Love you more."

I watched the car speed away, my hand pressed against my chest as my eyes filled with tears. Today marked the day their dad started living separately from us and tomorrow I will be going to the attorney office to make the divorce official.

My guilt consumed me as I walked back to the house. I wasn't innocent in this—I knew that. I kept silent when I should have spoken, did nothing when I should have acted. I cowardly let things unravel until they broke us apart.

The house was quiet as I stepped in and closed the door behind me, and the silence felt heavier than usual, like it was pressing in from all sides. I looked around, trying to imagine the place without Aiden in it. The thought was almost unreal, and it hurt so much. Things would never be the same again. As I stood there, I wondered if I should distract myself with some work in the garden or if it was time to start packing Aiden's things. I decided that I better waited for Dennis before I start packing, as I wasn't sure I would make it without crying. Gardening seemed to be the best option for now.