All That She Needs

Part 5 : Aiden

I came home and found Asha was already asleep. Again.

I didn't mean to come home late, truly, I was really working in the office, scrunching complicated and dizzying numbers with my entire Finance department for a huge mistake they were making that cost me almost a million dollars. I have been good these last few months. I came home on time; I spent more time with my family. I hadn't been making excuses and lied to my wife anymore.

I kept my promises to myself. I hoped that if I had let Asha down in the past, she knew that I was trying to fix it now. For her. For our children. These past few days had been grueling, but I had every intention to get it done faster so that I could go home sooner.

When I reached my bedroom, I was so drained that I just let my clothes fall wherever they landed—too exhausted to bother with putting them away or even taking a shower. I shuffled quietly towards the bed, trying not to wake Asha, who was already deep in sleep. I slipped under the covers beside her, scooting closer so I could hold her from behind. I pressed my lips gently to the back of her head.

She smelled like a greasy burger. Why did she smell like a greasy burger?

Asha, with her dedication to healthy eating, never touched burgers. Her meals were always meticulously chosen—nutritious, balanced, and wholesome.

I chose not to dwell on it too much, letting the comforting warmth of her body soothe my weary mind. I whispered to her that I loved her, and in her sleep, she apparently heard me, because she mumbled sleepily that she loved me too.

I had all I needed in life, right here. With Asha and my children.

What more could I ask?

I sighed deeply, feeling the pressure from my own thoughts. I needed to accept that I had made my choice. I stopped chasing Vanessa. I chose my wife. I chose my family. It was the path I had committed to, and I knew I had to move on with my life.

So, why was my heart still breaking?

Vanessa didn't want anything to do with me anymore, and I should see that as a blessing—a release from the chaos I'd been trapped in. She made the decision for me; a decision I knew I would never have had the courage to make on my own. It should have brought me relief, but instead, it left me feeling like a part of me had been ripped away.

Because there's still a part of me—a dark, twisted piece buried deep inside—that isn't ready to let go yet. It's a darkness that whispers doubts, that refuses to let me move on, even when I want to.

My life was supposed to be simpler now. But the truth was, I felt stuck and incomplete—between the life I chose and the one that slipped away. It kept gnawing at me and I wondered if there was still a way to put the pieces of myself back together and be happy again.

Last night with Asha had been incredible, like a reminder of how things used to be between us. The connection, the passion—it felt like we had finally broken through the distance that had settled between us. For the first time in a while, I was able to let go, to forget the guilt that had been holding me back.

It gave me hope that we could rebuild what was lost. I'd been looking forward to tonight, to keep that connection alive and prove that last night wasn't just a one-time thing. But work got in the way. I couldn't help but wonder if missing tonight would make me lose the progress we had made.

As my eyes drifted to sleep, the greasy scent from her hair attacked my nostrils. I wrinkled my nose, missing the lavender scent from the hair wash she always used, and I couldn't help but think that something was different with Asha. Something changed her. But I just couldn't figure out what.