All That She Needs

Part 22 : Asha

Liam had texted me three times already, reminding me of our dinner tonight at his office. I hadn't forgotten. Of course, I hadn't. I missed our talks, laughing with him, his amazing dishes. I missed him.

Oh, God. I really did miss him. I tried to convince myself it was just the way a friend misses another friend, like I missed Dennis when he was on leave.

But that would be a lie. I missed Liam because I simply missed him.

And I was looking forward to this dinner way too much to be healthy. When did these feelings come over me? When did I start longing for his company with such intensity? Every moment I spent away from him my longing became more acute, and I started to worry that our simple friendship had turned into something much more significant before I even realized it.

I read his texts again and again, each time, a smile stretched my face.

"A gentle reminder. Dinner tonight at six-thirty. My office. I was planning to grill some steaks but got caught sneaking in the electric grill. Got a serious warning from the building manager (eye roll emoji). No cooking or grilling inside the building, he said. But it was an INDOOR grill! The guy was too fucking uptight (pig nose icon). I told you we should have dinner at my place (wink emoji).

I laughed again, imagining him sneaking in the grill. He really was insane.

"You didn't reply to my text I'm starting to worry (crying emoji). Please reply, Asha. Pretty please (kissy emoji). I ended up going back home quickly to cook your dinner. Made Italian Shrimp Orzo (shrimp emoji) and Caprese Salad, and Vanilla Panna Cotta. I know I love to cook Italian too much, especially my Nana's recipe. But it's what I cooked best. And I only want to serve you the best."

He sent me photos of his dishes and they looked mouthwatering. My heart was touched by how much trouble he took to prepare all this for me.

"I'm back in the office with your dinner and losing my mind waiting for you to reply. Keith actually handcuffed my leg to a chair to keep me from barging into your office. Fucking Keith. I'll get him back for this. I missed you, Asha. Please tell me we'll still have dinner."

He sent a few pictures showing his right leg restrained. Liam was barefoot. I couldn't help thinking that even his feet were gorgeous. By the way, why the hell did they kept a handcuff in the office? I chuckled to myself, shaking my head. What a bunch of juvenile kids these men were.

It was obvious that Liam had feelings for me. His affection towards me couldn't be denied. He was true to his words that he would charm the heck out of me. It overwhelmed me a little. But it was a good feeling. Aside from Aiden, I never entertained anyone who tried to charm me.

There were quite a number of men trying to flirt with me in the past. Dennis said that with my looks, my success, and my Ice Queen personality, men would feel challenged and tried to conquer me. Some of them were even powerful enough to strengthen my stance in the business world and they were honestly seeking a formidable woman to stand by their side. But I was never tempted. Not even once. I had a beautiful man sleeping beside me every night, who always looked at me with stars in his eyes and with passion that never faded even after years went by. I always felt like I was the luckiest woman in the world. Until it all broke apart, at least.

But with Liam, I felt tempted.

Was this what Aiden felt with her? That once you opened the gate and made yourself vulnerable, you allowed yourself to experience something new?

I began to see Aiden's perspective, even though I still hadn't forgiven him. I understood how strong the temptation must have been for him. As a virile man in his prime, having been with the same woman for half his life, and longing for excitement in his monotonous married life. The demon in his head would have whispered, urging him to take the chance. It convinced him he needed it. Needed her. His ego was desperate for it, craving to feel strong and alive. And by some luck, he found the perfect one who could feed all of that to him.

He chose to betray me. To give in to his ego. But that was not the worst part. I knew Aiden. He wasn't the type to just sleep with anyone. He needed to feel a connection with her, and it had to be something deep and meaningful. That's how I knew he was falling in love with her. He loved her. That hurt the most.

Sometimes I caught myself wondering how their relationship began. Did he fall for her quickly, or did he try to resist at first, struggling with his loyalty? I wanted to know the moment he realized he was drawn to her, when he knew he was slipping down a path he couldn't turn back from. Did he wrestle with guilt, or did the thrill drown it out? I couldn't stop myself from imagining those early days, wondering if his heart raced when he saw her, the same way it used to with me.

But most of all, I wanted to know when he realized he was falling out of love with me. Was it gradual, so slow that even he didn't notice? Or was there a moment—a single, defining moment—when he knew I no longer held his heart? That's the thought that haunted me most: when did I lose him? When did he stop seeing me the way he once had?

The temptation Aiden experienced was now right in front of me, embodied in the form of a gorgeous young man who seemed to believe he was in love with me. It was flattering, intoxicating even—the kind of attention I hadn't felt in so long. I could easily reach out and seize it with both hands, just like Aiden had. I could cross that line, taste the thrill of something new, and for a moment, make myself feel wanted again. The thought lingered in my mind, tempting me to do exactly what Aiden had done to me.

We were separated, true, but we hadn't finalized the divorce yet. My lawyer was still handling the paperwork, and technically, we were still married even though we were apart. So, in my eyes, it would still be cheating. I couldn't shake that reality. Crossing that line would make me no different from him, and despite the anger, the betrayal, and the heartbreak, I wasn't sure I was ready to become that version of myself.

It was tempting, so tempting. The allure of something new, something that could fill the void, was powerful. It was an opportunity to feel desired and wanted in a way that had been missing for so long. But then it wouldn't be fair to Liam. His feelings were so pure, so genuine, and it would be heartless to use him as a band-aid to patch the void when I was still too fragile, and my pain was still raw, to make a decision that might affected his entire life.

I sighed. I needed to do what was right. Even if it tormented me.

So, I picked up my phone and began to write a text.

"Liam, I'm so sorry but I can't do this. I'm still tied to another man. Until that is done, I need to stay away from you. Until we can see each other again, take care."

His reply came immediately. And it was gentle, understanding. He was really too good for me.

"Asha, just remember that I'm here, waiting for you. I'm without a beating heart. Because my heart is with you. Come back to me."