The Prettiest Boy Of Them All

CH.11 - Sweat

Gaege pov:

It's weird..ever since the day Eddie found out about how I was last year he never really questioned it. He doesn't even care that I used to be passed around, he doesn't care that I used my body to get free shit. I don't know if I should be happy or upset. Like, I'm happy that he doesn't see me any different but I'm also upset that he doesn't know the full picture. Yeah, I was called a slut or whatever but it really was the worst year of my life. I was expected to go out every night, it felt like everyone knew me and people just assumed I was easy. I never had a real relationship last year..I mean I had a few boyfriends but they were all assholes, it never felt real. They all only wanted one thing from me and that was sex. They wanted something that they could degrade. They liked that I was seen as a whore, they could easily talk shit about me to their friends but get in bed with me later in the night. I was used by so many guys and I just let it happen. My friends tried to help me out but it never worked, I was in too deep. At some point I just felt like I deserved all of it. I felt like I was only ment to be used and that no one could really love me. There was nothing to love. But once summer came and I was away from the people that I went to school with I realized that I didn't have to be praised by random men to feel good about myself. I really found myself during summer break and I started this school year as a new person. I didn't go to bars as much and when I did no one really recognized me. When I met Eddie..it was like love at first sight. He's the first guy in a while that I actually developed a crush on and I'm so happy that he turned out to actually be a good guy.

Getting back to him finding out..that was really embarrassing for me. It's been a few weeks since he's know and nothing has changed. I'm glad that he doesn't see me as "easy". I mean I kinda am when I think about it. I can fall for a guy just because he's nice to me. It's sad, really. I just hope Eddie never gets tired of me, I don't ever want to lose him. He's the best I've ever had and nothing could ever top him.

As I'm laying in my bed, rotting about the life that I was living only last year, I hear a knock at my door.

"Come in." I groan as I wipe a small tear out of the corner of my eye

"You boyfriend is trying to call you." Josh says as he fully opens the door

"Is he?" I quickly sit up and grab my phone, looking at all of the missed calls and worried texts
"Shit."

"Yeah, he was texting me all worried about you." Josh crosses his arms as he leans against the doorframe
"I guess hes been trying to call you for a few hours. What were you doing that was SOOO important that you had to ignore your boyfriend?"

"I wasn't doing anything, I was just laying on my bed. I didn't even know that I was in here for that long." I admit as I text Eddie

"Hmm..are you okay?"

"Yeah, im- I'm fine." I sigh
"I was just thinking about things."

"Like?" Josh raises a brow

"Like how Eddie doesn't fully know about how bad it was for me last year." I frown

"Do you want him to know?"

"Yeas and no. Like I'm glad that he doesn't question any of it but I just wish he knew a little bit more."

"Then tell him." Josh shrugs

"It's not that easy and you know that." I cross my arms
"Maybe one day."

Just then my phone rings

"I'll let you guys be." Josh gives me a warm smile before shutting the door

"Gaege?" Eddie's voice is full of worry
"Fuck, I thought you were mad at me or something." He lets out a sigh

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that you were calling me." I admit
"And I would never be mad at you." I smile even though he can't see it