In Between Us || Zhanyi

The Breaking Point

✒️Last worked: 12/08/2024

✅Improvement required before publish: Improve the dynamics between main leads. Don't publish without modifications!!!

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Zhan's reverie was interrupted by the soft sound of the bed dipping. He only turned sidewise to see Yibo sliding under the covers, as was customary, removing his clothes in a practiced manner. It was a ritual they had established, one that had become so routine that Zhan had almost stopped questioning it. But tonight felt different. 

Zhan watched Yibo, waiting for him with that same wordless expectation, Yibo's actions mechanical, almost practiced. And in that moment, it hit him with bitter clarity—Yibo wasn't waiting for his love, for his affection. His chest tightened as anger flickered. He had been fooling himself, believing their connection was enough. But now, as he watched Yibo go through the motions, he felt like a stranger in his own life. Yibo's passivity, once comforting, now felt like a mirror of his own empty assumptions. 

After whatever happened today, all he think about is this? only this? Did he ever consider my emotions? whether I want this or not? Did he ever saw me as husband? or even human? or maybe he think of me just a machine like him to fulfill his needs only? ........Zhan thought to himself

Zhan's knuckles turned white, his grip tighten on the mattress, he felt a high resistance building within him, a reluctance to continue down the path they had set.

Zhan felt like used in their intimacy. He knew it was part of a marriage to get intimate, to satisfy your partner, to satisfy your partner's needs, it was his duty and responsibility. If Yibo needs him, he should be there. There was no need for added drama but today for the first time Zhan was determined to deny his duty. Instead of his pride, tonight Zhan chose dignity. Zhan didn't feel doing it, at least not today even if that mean disappointment to Yibo so he with a sharp tone stopped Yibo.

"Stop," Zhan ordered, his voice sharp and authoritative, cutting through the silence like a whip.

Yibo blinked, confused, his hands hovering over his half-removed clothing. After a momentary pause his hands, which had just begun to unbutton his shirt, fell to his sides. He had heard that tone from Zhan before, but tonight, it felt more jagged, more biting. Yibo sat there unmoving, his eyes fixed on the blanket, casted down, waiting for further instruction. He didn't ask why or what was wrong; he simply stopped, as he had been conditioned to do. It was what Zhan wanted, wasn't it?

But when Yibo made no move to argue or even question the sudden rejection, Zhan felt his frustration rise to a boiling point. A harsh, bitter laugh escaped his lips. He couldn't believe it—Yibo didn't care. Not once had Yibo shown a hint of desire, not once had he reached out to Zhan with any genuine affection. Was this what their marriage had boiled down to? It hurt Zhan more that Yibo didn't even fought back.

Zhan's chest tightened with indignation. The more he thought about it, the more it gnawed at him. How could Yibo be so indifferent, so cold? Did he not feel anything? Did he even care?

"You know what??" Zhan began, his voice low and dripping with venom, "I doubt..." Zhan greeted under his breath as his voice depth low........."do you even know anything apart from spreading your legs?"

Yibo's head snapped up, eyes wide in shock. The words landed like a physical blow, and for a moment, he couldn't breathe. His throat felt tight, his heart hammering painfully in his chest. "What?" It was barely a whisper, his voice shaky, fragile. But no words came from his mouth. Under the blanket Yibo's toes curled up, his body churned but he didn't let it showed to Zhan, he acted strong...his mind echoed..........it must be his fault somewhere, so just endure.

Zhan didn't stop. Yibo's silence acted as petrol. Zhan was too far gone, too consumed by the anger and hurt he'd been holding back for so long. The urge he had inside him to get at least one single reaction from Yibo, to prove his assumptions were wrong but the person as his husband was really incapable to express the turmoil Zhan accidentally created. "You don't care, do you?" Zhan continued, a bitter smile curved his lips as his tone cruel and cutting. "You're completely incapable of understanding me. Incapable of giving anything real."

Yibo's lips trembled, the sting of the words making it hard to speak. He tried to find something, anything to say in response, but nothing came............silence.

Zhan's anger flared again, his ego bruised by Yibo's lack of reaction. "Only God knows why I agreed to this marriage. Why I'm still here, bearing this... this miserable arrangement."

Yibo flinched, the pain of Zhan's words coursing through him like a poison. Every syllable felt like another blow, another reminder of how he had failed. Failed to be a good husband. Failed to make Zhan happy.

"Just forget it," Zhan spat, turning on his heel as he stormed toward the door. "You disgust me."

The door slammed behind him with a loud bang, the sound reverberating through the room like the final nail in a coffin.

Yibo sat there, frozen, staring blankly at the door. His mind struggled to process what had just happened, the words still echoing in his head. *Disgusting*.

The word felt like a death sentence, one that he had feared for so long but never thought would come from Zhan. He had given everything—his time, his energy, his body—yet it still wasn't enough. HE.STILL.WAS.NOT.ENOUGH....................just why?.....why he never can be enough????

The weight of the rejection was suffocating and frustrating. Yibo's knees buckled, and he collapsed onto the bed, his hands clutching the sheets as if they were the only thing tethering him to reality. His chest heaved with silent sobs as the tears finally spilled over. He buried his face in the pillow, the fabric muffling the sound of his quiet cries.

He had failed. Again. Despite giving every bit of himself, he had failed to earn Zhan's love. And now, even his husband couldn't stand to be near him.

The sorrow was overwhelming, a deep, unrelenting ache that settled in his bones. It wasn't just about Zhan's words, harsh and cutting as they were. It was the crushing realization that he had always been a burden, an inconvenience. 

Just like to his uncle and aunt, No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he gave, he was never enough. And now, Zhan, the person Yibo had silently admired for so long, had confirmed it. He was nothing but a Worthless Disgusting Burden.

Yibo's sobs grew quieter, his body shaking from the sheer weight of his grief. He pressed his face deeper into the pillow, wishing he could disappear, wishing the pain would go away.

But the pain stayed, lingering like a cruel reminder of everything he had lost. Everything he had never had. And so, Yibo cried himself to sleep, the cold emptiness of the bed beside him a stark reminder of the love he would never be able to earn..........Zhan would never be his.

.............To Be Continued