winds of change ~ wolverine

ten

Instead of taking me back upstairs, Logan quickly crossed the street and gently loaded me into the front seat of a truck. He fastened my seatbelt for me and shut the passenger side door, crossing around the front with a sharp eye around him and climbing in beside me a moment later. All without saying a word.

"Where are we going?" I asked, trying to keep the embarrassment out of my voice. I'd been so completely wrong to come back alone and even if he wasn't voicing it just yet, I knew he was probably thinking the same. I was so confident that I could deal with anything that came up alone, now I just felt like an idiot.

"Motel across town, just for the night." He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "Trust me, you don't wanna be seen around the building right now." I hummed affirmatively, not being able to nod. I wondered what kind of mess he'd made of that mutant's friends to get to me.

"Who was that woman?" I finally asked, mindful that he seemed a little frustrated with me right now, but needing to know the truth.

His grip on the steering wheel tightened a little. "Mystique, Erik's right hand. She's a shapeshifter." My frown deepened heavily as I was hit like a truck with the reminder of my mother. I'd let myself forget how much I missed her. I'd let myself forget and when the prospect of having her back was dangled over my head, I jumped without ever thinking twice.

But it wasn't real. I had to keep telling myself it wasn't real. The last time I'd spoken to my mother was still six months ago when she made me swear to 'whatever godless horseshit' I held sacred that she would never have to see my face again. That was what was real. Logan piped up and I had to remind myself I wasn't alone, falling apart over this had to wait. "People much more experienced have fallen for her tricks. Don't beat yourself up about it."

It was too much to explain. I felt the tears pushing out of my eyes and hated that I couldn't even raise my fucking arm to wipe them away. "I'm not, it was a good trick." I said finally, keeping the emotion out of my voice as best I could. We pulled to a slow stop at a red light.

I felt a gentle hand wipe away the tears I couldn't. The feeling inexplicably only caused more to fall in their place. He wiped them away too. "Then what are these for?" He murmured, laying his hand so softly on my shoulder. I almost wished he'd just pretended he hadn't noticed, but Logan didn't see it the same way I did. As much as I was uncomfortable crying in front of him, or anyone for that matter, he seemed more than ready to take it.

I took slow, deliberate breaths to calm myself down. I wanted to tell him it wasn't his business, to tell him I could handle it alone. But I'd said the same thing this morning and look where it had gotten me. He'd been frustrated with me earlier, but all of that anger had seeped out of his voice. The light turned green and I was thankful for a moment's reprieve from his all seeing eyes. 

When I was as sure as I could be that the words wouldn't bring a flood of tears, I answered. "My mom and I haven't been on good terms since I told her I didn't believe in our religion a few years ago. We tried to coexist without letting it get in the way, but looking back, it was really only a matter of time. Six months ago we had... an apocalyptic falling out. She told me she never wanted to see me again."

I stopped to continue my steadying breaths. "When I got that call, I thought it meant she'd forgiven me, that we could move past it and... I don't know, that we could have what we had back." I sniffed mutely to keep my voice clear. "But it wasn't my mom who called. Everything's still exactly like it was. She's still back in Egypt, still hates my guts." I then said quietly, so quietly he might not have heard me. "Nothing's changed."

He sighed, squeezing my arm comfortingly. "If she doesn't wanna be a part of your life, that's her loss. You've got people." He looked over, brows furrowed like he wasn't sure if he was saying the right thing. "I know it's not the same... but you've got people."