Heartbeat

Chapter four

Heartbeat - Part 4

Song: 10 by Giorgia Borg

Adelaide's POV:

It was the next day, I'm afraid I had to go to school. I didn't want to face all my ' friends' but I had no choice. The only thing I could do was ignore them

Grandma: are you sure you can handle this today
Adelaide: * smile's a little * don't worry Grandma, I'll be fine
Grandma: * kisses her forehead * okay bye
Adelaide: bye Grandma * leaves *

The whole day I thought about what everybody would say to me, well a few minutes later I arrived at the school

Adelaide: * takes a deep breath and walks into the school building to homeroom *
Selena: * see's Adelaide and walks over to her *
Adelaide: * sighs * Selena I don't want to talk to you
Selena: Adelaide I know we all made a mistake but please forgive us
Adelaide: * gets tears in her eyes * Selena do you know how much it hurts to know you all lied to me over the years...do you know that
Selena: * doesn't know what to say *
Adelaide: yeah exactly now please leave me alone * walks away *

It was really hard to leave her like that but I told the truth. They really hurted me and I just needed time for myself now, the day went by pretty slowly. My ' friends' tried the whole time to talk to me but I just ignored them, after school I walked home or rather to my grandma's home.

Grandma: hey sweetie how was school
Adelaide: * sighs * it was okay grandma don't worry about it * walks up to her room *

I didn't want to tell her the truth how I really felt right now...sad and hurt...no I didn't want her to worry her so I just said I was fine and went up to my room. I laid on my bed and started crying silently, just the thought about my heart defect brought me down and now a question for you. What would you do if you found out you have a heart defect...to answer this question...you only want to die...nothing else...you want to leave this world and never come back. Suddenly I spotted a picture of my mom, my dad and my two brothers, I took it in my hands and cried a little bit more.

Adelaide: why did you do this to me...WHY!!!

I threw the to the ground, the picture frame broke into a lot of pieces...now I was crying hysterical. I stood up slowly, kneeled down and picked up the broken glass...of course I cut myself on it. It was bleeding but it didn't hurt so I tried it again, this time on my wrist...I did it again and again and I have to say it felt really good. I picked up the rest of the pieces and went to bed, one piece I hid in the bedside table...I know it wasn't right but just as I said it felt good well a few days went by, one day more terrible than the other my friends didn't leave me alone they tried to apologize and tried to find out where I lived at the moment. Of course I didn't tell them...they were dead to me...forever and always, sure I couldn't only handle my life with cutting myself. There was another point, the singing...when school was out I went to the music room and sang

Adelaide: * starts playing the guitar *
When I speak
Do you even hear a word I say
Or does it not matter in that way
Cause I'm 10
Or just because I'm young
It doesn't mean I don't mean what I say
It hurts when you look the other way

Hear my roar, hear my thunder
My heart is beating louder, louder
Louder

Are you hearing me
I want you to hear me, I need you to see me
You look at me but see right through me
Will you ever see, will you ever see me
I just wanna be, I just wanna be 10

When I cry
Do you even feel my pain inside
Or doesn't that even seem to try
Cause I'm a child

Hear my roar, hear my thunder
My heart is beating louder, louder
Louder

Are you hearing me
I want you to hear me, I need you to see me
You look at me but see right through me
Will you ever see, will you ever see me
I just wanna be, I just wanna be 10

See, whoa, I'm only 10
I still need you to feel me
I need you to protect me
I need you to guide me home

Hey, you look at me but see right through me
Will you ever see, will you ever see me
I just wanna be, I just wanna be 10

What i didn't know this time someone was listening to me.

That was chapter four of Heartbeat
I hope you enjoyed it
See you in the next chapter