Milk and Cigarettes

Chapter 6

When Leo had spoke those words to me, my heart jolted. The neighborhood kids didn't tell me those sort of things, no one did. I knew one day I'd stop running around and actually start liking the boys, but nothing prepared me for that moment. Nothing prepared me for the feeling that rushed through me as quickly and as softly as the water that gushed around our legs. Leo just kept looking down at the water and so did I. I remember staying like that for a long time, focusing on his words. "When I'm with you." I liked how they sounded coming from his mouth. I don't think I would've felt that way if anyone else had said it to me.

"I like this town," I said, still keeping my eyes on the water. "ever since you came here." And it was the truth. Before, Spokane was a place I felt I was stuck in. Rarely did any of it's residents escape it. If your were born here, most likely, you wouldn't leave. It was like Spokane was some sort of beacon for the hollow and troubled. No matter how bad it was, part of me couldn't blame Roger's mom for taking her chance and fleeing. When Leo came, I began feeling like the world outside of this town had a tunnel leading into it. Like somehow, I could escape through that tunnel, with him. At the end of the day, Leo and I were both soaking wet. He started splashing me and so I dunked him into the water. We spent hours climbing up the jagged rock walls and  jumping into the river. He had even brought us both sandwiches to eat and water bottles, which I was why he had that backpack with him. At one point, we stopped and sat down against a dusty boulder, letting our feet lay in the water. Leo reached into his backpack, grabbing a pack of cigarettes. He let one sit between his first two fingers as he lit it. I watched as he dragged it from his lips and I quickly turned away, not realizing my gaze had been stuck.

"Hey, Leo?" I asked while playing with a hand full of pebbles.

"Yeah?" His hair was dripping and the water splattered all across his face.

"Where were you before? I mean, before you came to Spokane?"

He took a deep breath and exhaled. "New York."

"City?" I was astonished. That place sounded like a fictional story to me, a dream.

"Yeah." He spoke and I had noticed his eyebrows were raised as he stared off into the distance.

"That's amazing." I couldn't fathom the feeling of going from a superb city like that to a dodder town like this.

He made an 'eh' sort of sound, before taking a small rock and tossing it into the water. It splashed and he made a slight laugh as he shook his head. "Wasn't that great." Leo turned and looked at me and his eyes were such a crystal light blue. "I kind of fell into a-" His glance turned to the side. "bad group of people." I nodded, trying to understand what he meant. For us, all the kids here were in one group. Friends, enemies, girls, boys, no matter who was annoying or nice, we all stuck together. "Doesn't matter anymore." He turned his head back to me. "I'm trying to leave that part of me behind." I saw him reach into his backpack and pull out a small Oak Farms milk carton. He took a swig and offered some to me. I took a sip and remembered when Roger had told me Leo was smoking and drinking milk that one morning at the gas station. I handed the carton back to him as he finished his cigarette and flicked it into the mass of tiny rocks. He looked back to me, his slight smile had made my fixed look towards him hard to break. I had to force myself to turn away and look back at the water. Back then, I didn't know how to handle my feelings towards him. It was all so new to me, so I did silly things like break eye contact because I didn't want to watch Leo turn his glance away first.