Smoking cats - shinsero

Slipping

The pressure was building, and Sero could feel it with every passing day. It wasn't just Shinsou - though the constant back-and-forth between them weighed heavy on his heart. It was everything else, too. Classes were getting harder, training more intense, and he felt like no matter how much he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling of being overwhelmed.

He had been skipping out on his usual hangouts with the others more often, finding himself retreating to the roof with a joint instead. The high helped, but only for a little while. As soon as it faded, the weight came crashing back down. And Shinsou... Sero wanted to help him, to break through the walls he kept putting up, but it was like the closer they got, the more the other pulled away.

———

It was late one Friday night, and the dorms were quiet. Sero had snuck up to the roof again, the cool breeze carrying the faint sounds of the city. He lit up, taking a long drag and letting the smoke fill his lungs, trying to drown out the buzzing anxiety that wouldn't leave him alone.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, glancing at the screen. Another message from Kaminari, asking him to come down and hang out. But the boy wasn't in the mood to be around anyone right now. Not even his friends.

Instead of replying, he flicked his phone to silent and shoved it back into his pocket. He took another drag, closing his eyes, willing himself to relax.

But it wasn't enough anymore. The cannabis wasn't cutting through the fog in his mind like it used to. His thoughts kept circling - about Shinsou, about school, about the feeling of being stuck. The usual high barely gave him relief now, and the idea of something stronger started creeping into his mind.

He pulled out a small vial from his jacket pocket, the one he had been carrying around for weeks. It was LSD, the escape he only turned to when things got really bad. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't use it again, not after last time. But tonight, the temptation felt stronger than ever.

He stared at the vial for a long moment, weighing the decision in his mind. He knew the risks. He knew it could mess with his head, but at this point, he was desparate for something - anything - that would quiet the storm inside him.

"Fuck it," he muttered to himself.

He unscrewed the cap and carefully let a single drop hit his tongue. The bitter taste barely registered as the anxiety and frustration that had been eating away at him began to fade, replaced by a slow, creeping warmth that spread through his body.

———

An hour later, the world felt different. The stars above him shimmered brighter than ever, and the city lights below seemed to pulse in rhythm with his heartbeat. Everything felt... lighter, more vivid, as if the weight that had been crushing him had finally lifted.

But as the high settled in, so did the swirling thoughts. His mind drifted to Shinsou again - how distant he had been lately, how he couldn't seem to reach out to the boy no matter how hard he tried.

The memories of their nights together, their closeness, started to blunt with flashes of Shinsou's scars, the sadness in his eyes. Sero's heart ached, the emotional intensity heightened by the drug, and suddenly he was overwhelmed with the need to fix things between them, to stop the other from slipping away.

But it wasn't that simple. It never was.

He lay back on the roof, staring up at the sky as his thoughts spiraled. The stars swirled around above him, and his mind felt like it was unraveling, piece by piece. He had thought the LSD would give him peace, but all it had done was bring the buried feelings to the surface - feelings he wasn't sure he was ready to deal with.

———

Shinsou was sitting in his room, Tipi curled up beside him as he flipped through the notes from today's training session. He hadn't seen much of Sero lately, and though he told himself it was fine, part of him couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong.

His phone buzzed, and he glanced at the screen to see a message from Kaminari:

Kaminari - Yo, have you seen Sero? He's not answering his phone, and we were supposed to hang out.

The boy frowned, quickly typing a reply.

Shinsou - No, I haven't seen him since class. Try the roof?

He set his phone down, but something about the message gnawed at him. The roof. Sero had a habit of retreating there when he needed to be alone, and Shinsou knew better than anyone how easy it was to hide up there, drowning in your thoughts.

A strange sense of unease settled in his chest. Something felt off.

Without thinking, he grabbed his jacket, nudging Tipi gently off his lap as he stood.
"I'll be back later, girl," he murmured, slipping out of the apartment and heading toward the dorms.

When Shinsou reached the roof, the cool night air hit him first, followed but the faint smell of smoke. His eyes scanned the rooftop, and there, lying on his back with his eyes half-lidded, was Sero.

"Sero?" He called softly, approaching cautiously.

The boy didn't respond at first, his gaze fixed on the sky, his body completely still. As Shinsou got closer, he noticed the small vial lying beside Sero's hand, and a sharp pang of worry shot through him.

"Sero," his voice was more urgent now, kneeling down beside him.
"Hey, talk to me. What the hell did you take?"

The black haired boy blinked slowly, as if coming out of a daze.
"Shinsou..." he murmured, his voice distant, disconnected.
"You... you're here?"

"Of course I'm here," Shinsou snapped, though his voice softened with concern as he saw the dazed look in the boy's eyes.
"What did you take, Sero?"

The boy in question gestured lazily toward the vial.
"Just... something to help me relax."

Shinsou's chest tightened.
"LSD? Are you serious?"

The other gave a weak, humorless chuckle.
"Yeah... just a little..."

He felt a wave of frustration and fear crash over him. Sero was always so carefree, so laid-back, but this... this was something else. He knelt beside him, his hand gently brushing over the boy's forehead.
"Why would you do this?"

Sero's gaze finally met Shinsou's, and for the first time, he saw the cracks - the vulnerability Sero tried to hard to hide.
"Because it's too much," he whispered.
"Everything's too much."

Shinsou's heart clenched at the words. He understood all too well the feeling of being overwhelmed, of wanting to escape. But seeing him like this, seeing the person who had been his constant source of comfort spiraling, hit him harder than he expected.

"I... I didn't know you were struggling this much," Shinsou whispered, his voice breaking slightly.
"You didn't tell me."

The other let out a bitter laugh.
"Yeah, well... it's not exactly easy to talk about."

Shinsou looked at him, the guilt settling deep in his chest. He had been so wrapped up in his own issues that he hadn't even noticed Sero struggling.
"I should have been there for you."

Sero shook his head slowly, a sad smile on his face.
"You've been dealing with your own shit, Hitoshi. Don't... don't blame yourself."

For a moment, they sat in silence, the weight of everything hanging between them. Finally, Shinsou spoke, his voice soft but firm.
"You don't need this, Hanta. You don't need to numb yourself. I know it feels like it's too much, but... you don't have to handle it alone."

Sero's eyes closed, his body relaxing slightly as he leaned into the other's touch.
"I don't want to do this anymore," he whispered, his voice fragile.
"I don't want to feel like this."

The purple haired boy's heart broke at the admission, and he pulled Sero closer, his hand gently brushing through his hair.
"We'll figure it out, together," he murmured, his voice full of quiet determination.

For now, the storm could wait.

———

Don't do drugs kids<3

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