Letters I Can't Send

1

"Have you got everything, Y/n?" asks Mr. Bronny once we cross over into Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

"I think so," I reply. Students and parents are bustling around the platform, little kids are crying, parents are choking back their own tears and it all seems a little excessive. I internally roll my eyes.

"Y/n," Mrs. Bronny says, grabbing my attention away from the hustle and bustle of the crowd. "we won't force you to come home for Christmas if you have other plans, but feel free to." I nod.

They don't want me there.

I say my goodbyes—not even half as emotional as the other families' goodbyes, but, then again, the Bronny's aren't even my family. So, I wave to them as I board the train and give my best fake smile. I think they do too.

My stomach is filled with butterflies and can't push them down. I wish I could. I occupy the first empty compartment I find, not wanting to have to share with some strangers. But, I guess, right now, everyone on this train is a stranger to me.

I try to get comfortable on the seat of the compartment, but I give up. These seats are as uncomfortable as your mother dying and father running away and you having to live with some weird foster parents who hate you. I would know.

I decide to take a book out and read to pass the time, but I don't get very far before I hear loud voices outside my compartment.

"All the bloody compartments are taken," a boy's voice says angrily.

"Here, Draco, I think this one is—" a girl starts to say, and the sliding door of my compartment opens to reveal a pug-ish-looking girl, accompanied by a few boys who stood behind her. One has hair as white as snow and is sneering, a pair who stood quite close to each other, looked like they are ready to hit someone—they're a bit...chubby. The last boy had dark skin and didn't look half as threatening as the other boys.

The pugish girl giggles and says, "it's alright, boys, only a lonely first year. She won't mind if we take up the extra space, will you?" she asked with a smug smirk. I try my best not to glare at her.

"I'm not a first year," I say through a clenched jaw and watch her as she gives me an odd look. Then she laughs.

"You—you're accent," she points out and laughs more as she takes a seat by the window across from me.

I huff. I forgot that people would think my American accent is weird. "What about it?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest, while the four other boys filter in the compartment. The two boys who looked like they wanted to punch someone sit next the girl while the blond boy and dark-skinned boy sit next to me. The blond closest to me.

"If you're not a first year, then what year are you?" she asks.

I roll my eyes. "Third." The girl's eyes widen.

"Third?"

"Yep," I say bleakly.

"Oh, lay off, Pansy, she's obviously new. Where are you from?" the least-threatening-looking-boy says.

I like the change of mood with him, so I shift my tone a bit, but I'm still wary of these people. "Massachusetts," I answer. The blond boy scoffs, my eyes dart to him for a mere second, before they go back to the other boy.

"So you went to Ilvermorny?" he says and I nod. "Why'd you come here, then?" I gulp, and I hope my nerves aren't prominent on my face at that question.

"Well, my father got a new job, so we had to move." Merlin, I hope I sound convincing.

"And what's that? What job?" I think I take too long to answer because he adds a, "Well...?"

"Hm?" I try to make it look like I zoned out or something. "oh, he got a job at the ministry," I nod, as if I was more convincing myself than the other five.

The boy also nods, a relief, and then asks, "What's your name? I'm Blaise, Blaise Zabini." and holds out his hand for me to shake.

I take it and smile softly. "Y/n. Y/n Ellis."

Blaise introduces me everyone else in the compartment, though none of them give me anything more than a grunt of acknowledgment.

The blond boy's name is Draco Malfoy, the girl is Pansy Parkinson and the two boys who look the most threatening are Crabbe and Goyle.

..........

The train ride is mostly uneventful—just me reading and writing nonsense in my notebook to remind myself who I am before I die of boredom.

Then the train lurches to a stop and we all look around. Pansy speaks first. "We can't possibly be at Hogwarts yet," she says and gets up to look out of the compartment doors.

Then the lights flicker out. Everything goes cold. So cold. It's so quiet. The windows frost over, the world outside is dark, so we can barely see each other. Malfoy and I lock eyes by accident, both of us confused and breathes coming out in puffs in the air. I look away first. I don't know him, he hasn't said much since he got in to the compartment. He read almost the entire time.

Then the lights come back on and we hear a few hoots and cheers before we all go back to what we were doing only moments before.

"That was odd," Pansy remarks. We all grunt in agreement as the train starts to move again.