Letters I Can't Send

17

Draco's POV

I'm trudging—more like running—back into the castle clutching my nose. Hermione just punched me. Hard. Now I know how that ice cream man must feel and, Merlin, that's good because, damn, it hurts.

"Shit," I mutter under my breath when I take my hand away from my face and notice drops of blood.

I burst into the common room and jog up to my dorm, where I take off into the bathroom. I grab a towel and mop up the blood dripping from my nose and I hear fussing downstairs—specifically Pansy screaming about how she'll kill Hermione for punching me. I know that feeling all too well. Then I hear footsteps pounding up the stairs and Blaise and Pansy pop their heads through the doorway of the bathroom.

"That bitch," Pansy sneers. I don't look at her, or anyone standing with them in the doorway. I see more bodies standing there, watching me—like I'm some sort of muggle television program or something.

"Hey," I hear someone say angrily. A voice I've heard on so many levels. A voice I've heard and got burned into my brain the second I heard it. The second I heard that accent. The second we argued, she cried, I held her for the first time. She shouldn't be the one I turn for but she is.

I turn at her voice, and notice her standing among the group of spectators standing around Blaise and Pansy, her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at Pansy.

"She's not a bitch." She looks the angriest I've ever seen her. This isn't like when we fought that night in the common room or our little banter we love to so-often take part in. She's defending. Putting up a different kind of fight.

Pansy turns around to face Y/n. This could get ugly fast. "She punched Draco, she's a know-it-all with no good looks, she thinks she's better than everyone—" This is when I push though the small throng of people gathered in my dorm and make my way to Y/n. I grab her shoulder and pull her out of the dorm and Pansy yells after us. "What are you doing? Where are you going with her? Dray!" I cringe at her nickname for me. I guess being together for four and a half months will get you those awful nicknames.

"Hey—what the hell? Why are you taking me out when it's your girlfriend causing the problem?" Y/n seethes as I push her into an empty classroom. She jerks away from my hand on her shoulder. I lock the door. What am I doing?

I stand near the door and watch her carefully from far away, she's breathing hard. "Your girlfriend, Malfoy—she's barbaric." I know that. "She—she's crazy!" I know that too. Y/n throws her hands into the air and then puts them on her hips.

I clasp my own hands behind my back and study her. She stares back at me, her eyes blazing into mine. I take a step forward, and regret taking more. One foot in front of the other until I'm standing right in front of her. She looks up at me, a confused look half replacing her bewildered and angry demeanor.

"I—" I start, unsure how to finish. Y/n is quiet now, but the fire in her eyes never diminishes. "I want to try something." I say lean my face a little closer to hers. "I hope it's alright with you," I practically whisper. She doesn't respond, so I don't stop.

My eyes dart down to her lips and I inch myself just a little closer. She is leaning against a table, both her hands now on rim of it.

My lips now mere inches away from her own, I can feel her breath. I enjoy it. I don't dare lay my hands on her yet, even if they're itching to. 

What am I doing? 

I lean impossibly closer, lips almost brushing.

Her breath hitches a bit, and that's it for me. I press my lips to hers. For a moment, it's just lips on lips, but then she kisses back. I feel a rush of exhilaration at the sensation. Nothing like how it is with Pansy. I put my hands next her hers on the table, like a cage around her as I kiss her.

I kiss her like I've never been kissed. Like nothing else in the world matters and it's just us—because it is. She puts her hands on my chest for a moment, then pushes. Hard.

I stagger backward and see her looking at me, horrified. "No—no. You have a girlfriend—you—we shouldn't be doing that. Merlin, that's just insane," She puts her hands on her head and paces around the room.

I put a hand to my forehead. What was I thinking? I was thinking that I wanted to kiss her, that's what. I was thinking that maybe if I tried kissing her, that I would stop thinking about her all the damn time and focus on my actual girlfriend for once. I was thinking that maybe nothing would happen if I kissed her and the things I think I might feel for her would disappear. But I think I was wrong, I feel the same as I did before, just wanting to kiss her more. I push the feeling away.

"Jesus—okay, that never happened, Ellis, got it?" I point a finger at her as she nods in agreement.

"It meant nothing," she says in low, almost threatening voice. I hate that those words practically break me. It meant nothing. I know it meant nothing, but I can't help thinking how I felt, how she didn't pull way, how she kissed me back. It's all a little too much for me.

"Nothing at all. Let's go," I say and unlock the door, letting her go through first, and immediately regret the decision. She glares at me as I hold the door open for her, and I try my best to glare back. Maybe if I want stop this little thing I have for her, I should stop being such a gentlemen to her.

..........

The school year is almost over, which means our tutoring is over, so we don't have to worry about being more than within 10 feet of one another. Explaining to the other Slytherins wasn't so hard since Y/n stormed back into the common room, raging up the steps to her dorm. People must have assumed that I did something to her to make her so angry—I don't what they think I did, but it honestly doesn't matter anymore.

Y/n has stopped acknowledging me altogether now, and it this feels all too familiar—her ignoring me. She has stuck to Quinn and, occasionally, her fellow dorm members, while I have stuck to Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle. 

It's hard to not tease her and get all riled up every day, but I know that in only two short weeks, we won't see each other for another 3 months and everything will be back to normal in the fall. I hope.

a/n: hahahahah that was a little chaotic, but strap in for year 4 in a couple of chapters (after like one chapter year 4 will start, maybe two. lol) this will be fun tehe

anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter <3