Holding On To Hope

Chapter 21 - Shattered Glass

The following morning was a harsh reminder of the tumultuous night Lina had endured. The sun spilled through her window, illuminating her small apartment, but it felt less like a warm embrace and more like a spotlight exposing her vulnerabilities. She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to shake off the weight of her mother's words and Leon's harsh rejection.

Forcing herself out of bed, she prepared a simple breakfast. The act of cooking felt foreign and burdensome; her heart wasn't in it. She could hear the distant sounds of traffic outside, a reminder that life continued, indifferent to her struggles.

After breakfast, Lina grabbed her prayer beads and sank onto her mat. She needed guidance, a way to regain her sense of peace. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, whispering prayers for strength and clarity. But with each bead she passed through her fingers, her mind drifted back to her mother's cruel remarks and Leon's refusal to support her.

When she finally stood up, she felt a flicker of determination igniting within her. Today, she would take control. She would not let the shadows of her past dictate her future. After all, this apartment was a step toward her independence, a chance to reclaim her identity.

Lina spent the morning cleaning, organizing her belongings, and trying to infuse her space with warmth. As she hung a few framed pictures of her family—her father, Zara, and her brothers—she felt a surge of love. They were her pillars, the ones who believed in her, even when she struggled to believe in herself.

But despite this small victory, the heaviness still lingered. She picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts, her heart sinking when she saw Leon's name. Should she reach out again? The words from the previous night echoed in her mind, pushing her away. Instead, she decided to call Zara, her younger sister, who had always provided comfort without judgment.

"Hey, Lina!" Zara's cheerful voice was like a balm. "How are you doing?"

Lina hesitated, biting her lip. "I'm okay, just... settling in."

"Is it nice? Your own place?" Zara asked, her curiosity evident.

"It's small but cozy. I'm making it work," Lina replied, forcing a smile. "I miss you."

"I miss you too! You should come over soon. We can have a movie night and catch up," Zara suggested.

"I'd love that. Just... give me a little time, okay?" Lina said, her heart aching with the longing for her sister's companionship.

"Of course! Take care, big sis. I'll be here whenever you need me," Zara said, and they hung up.

Later that day, Lina decided to go out for groceries. As she walked through the aisles, the mundane task felt oddly grounding. She picked out fruits and vegetables, trying to focus on what she needed rather than the emotional storm brewing inside her.

After returning home, Lina felt as if she were carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and sank onto her couch, staring blankly at the wall.

Her phone buzzed, and she glanced down, seeing Grayson's name flash across the screen. She hesitated, her heart aching. After everything, she wasn't ready to talk to anyone. Ignoring the call, she laid back, staring at the ceiling, feeling more isolated than ever.

Hours passed, and the silence in the apartment was deafening. Just as she thought she might finally fall asleep, her phone buzzed again, this time it was a call from Grayson. She knew she should answer, but the thought of facing anyone was overwhelming.

"Lina?" Grayson's voice came through. "Are you there? Pick up."

She held her breath, unsure of how to respond. Should she answer?

"Lina, please. I'm worried about you," he added, his tone filled with genuine concern.

Reluctantly, she picked up. "Hey."

"Thank God! I've been trying to reach you. What happened? You haven't been answering," he said, his voice a mix of relief and worry.

"I... I'm okay, just tired," she lied, even though her heart ached with loneliness.

"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever it is, you don't have to deal with it alone," Grayson urged.

Lina opened her mouth to respond but paused. How could she explain the pain of her mother's words and the hurt from Leon? "I just need some time, Grayson. I'll be fine."

"Lina, We care about you," he insisted, his voice rising slightly in frustration.

"I know," she whispered, feeling the walls close in again. "I just... I don't know how to deal with this right now."

"Then let me help. We're family, remember?" he said softly.

With that, the floodgates opened. Lina broke down, her voice shaking as she poured out her fears and frustrations. Grayson listened patiently, allowing her to vent without interruption.

After the call ended, Lina felt slightly lighter. Talking to Grayson had reminded her that she wasn't alone, but it didn't erase the sting of her earlier encounters. As she prepared for bed that night, she knew she would have to face the repercussions of her choices and find a way to reclaim her strength.

Before sleep took her, she sat on her prayer mat one last time, seeking solace in her prayers. "Ya Allah, guide me through this darkness. Help me find my way back to myself."

The next day, as she went about her routine, she found herself lost in thought. It was the first time in weeks that she felt an inkling of hope. Maybe, just maybe, she could start anew, not just in her apartment, but in her life.

That afternoon, she stepped outside, letting the fresh air fill her lungs. It felt different, invigorating. Lina walked toward the nearby park, allowing herself to breathe. The sun was warm on her face, she sat on a bench and closed her eyes for a moment.