Bungou Stray Dogs: Love Race

Nightmare

Atsushi was taking a shower. The warm water ran down his body. His bruises still ached from the last beating, but the water somehow made him feel better. He enjoyed this warm sensation, till it came time to wash his hair. This always made him uncomfortable. Closing his eyes while being naked made him feel exposed. Every time he did this he could swear that something was just behind him breathing down on his neck.

He sighed, closed his eyes and wetted his hair. His heart raced. He quickly wiped out the water from his eyes.

Nothing happened. Relief washed over him. He was about to chuckle from his childishness, when he noticed a strange shadow on the shower curtain. "Was it there before" but no matter how hard he pushed his mind he couldn't remember. "It's probably nothing, but as he turned off the tap to put soap on his hair. He heard it. A slow raspy breathing. "I must be hearing things, it's probably just the vents"

He quickly soaped his hair and got ready to rinse it off. This time he really didn't want to close his eyes. So he tried to keep them open while rinsing. It worked for a few seconds but the soapy waterflowing down his face got into his eyes. He gasped from the pain and closed them quickly. His heart started racing, he was once again tossed into that dark world. Adrenaline ran through his veins. The stinging sensation haven't abated. He started spraying water into his eyes to eash away the pain but to no avail.

Suddenly he felt cold air hitting his body. "I must have pulled the curtain in my panic" he thought. He tried to pull it back but he only managed to accidentaly close the tap. The room was tossed into silence. Only Atsushi's quick breathing could be heard. But there was something beside it. The boy only needed a second to recognize it. It was that raspy breathing!

It came from a lot closer now. Atsushi pushed through the pain and opened his eyes. The world was blurry a mess he couldn't make sense of it. He rubbed his eyes panicking. Something was standing face to face with him. Terror filled his body. He tried step back but the wall stopped him. The thing was like shadow and swirling black smoke. Atsushi slipped and fell on his back. His heart raced. He was like a mouse cornered by a predator. Completely defenseless. His body was petrified with fear. He closed his eyes and started crying.

He felt the breathing on his face now. Two strong arms pinned him to the wall. Another set of arms started to force apart his legs. He screamed out and tried pushing away the thing.

"What's wrong Atsushi-kun?"

His eyes sprung open. He was laying in his back under an unfamiliar ceiling. His eyes were full of tears, and he was entangled in something. He felt a hand on his shoulder, this made him jump up.

He was in Dazai's room. Moonlight seeped in through the curtains. The owner of the room was sitting next to him with a concerned look. His brething was still fast, and his heart still beat like crazy.

"This was all a bad dream" he thought. Tears filled his eyes again. He balled up cried from relief.

"I'm s-sorry Dazai-san" he sobbed "I didn't want to cause you trouble"

The man touched his shoulder. Atsuhi looked at him. He felt sad and embarassed.

"You have done nothing wrong" smiled Dazai "everyone has nightmares" he wrapped an arm around the boy. Atsushi snuggled up to him. But he couldn't answer. The man pet his head. "It's okay Atsushi-kun let it all out"

The boy buried his face in Dazai's shoulder. He felt his fear abate, and slowly getting replaced by safety.

Dazai held the boy for what seemed like ages. Periodically he would pet his head. He felt Atsushi's rapid breathing slow down. Dazai tought he fell asleep. But the boy broke the silence.

"Dazai-san c-can I ask you something?" his voice was shaky and muffled.

The man was suprised, he was sure Atsushi was asleep.

"Yeah sure" he answered in a gentle tone.

Atsushi looked up at him. Their faces was inches away. He could feel the boys breath tickling his skin. Atsushi's face was one of concern. His eyes sparkled from tears.

"I had this nightmare as long as I can remember. At least once a month I wake up like this" at the end his voice turned into a weak sob.

Dazai pulled tho boy's head to his chest. And wrapped his arms around him. Atsushi weakly hugged him back.

"It's okay, I'm sure you'll feel better if you talk it out" said the man with a caring voice "Can you tell me what happened in the dream?"

The boy sniffed. "Yes" and he told him everything that happened. His voice was weak, and sometimes it turned into sobbing, but he pushed through.
Dazai listened intently, he felt freaked out from that dream. It was very reminiscent of something very dark. He felt bad for the boy. But he figured that this might be the only chance to help him.

"You are very strong Atsushi-kun for telling me this" he hugged the boy tightly "I'm proud of you. For me your nightmares look like some repressed memory"

Atsushi's eyes lit up. Tho Dazai couldn't see them since the boy's face was buried deep in his chest.

"You might be right Dazai-san" he was intrigued, he felt like the pieces were falling into their places. "I have memory from when I was little, it's really similar to the dream" he suddenly stopped. A long forgotten feeling grasped his heart. He felt unclean and violated. He clasped dazai tightly. The man let out a suprised squeek from the the boys grasp.

"What is this?!" cried out Atsushi. His eyes filled with tears.

Dazai hugged him tightly and pet his back gently. A single teardrop rolled down his face.

"I'm sorry Atsushi" he whispered "I know far too well how are you feeling now"

"But how?" the boy sniffed. "I don't even know how I'm feeling" every word was a struggle for him.

Dazai sighed. "Back then" he paused, the memories were just to painful "I was in your shoes"