Jake sat at his desk, arms folded on the polished surface, eyes glued to the computer screen, though nothing registered. The cursor blinked back at him, waiting for input, but his mind was somewhere else entirely. It had been a full week since he'd cut Heeseung off, and the absence weighed on him like an anchor, dragging him further into guilt with each passing day.
He couldn't even tell what hurt worse—the crushing silence from Heeseung or the emptiness gnawing at his chest. What the hell was he thinking? How had he survived two days, let alone seven, without him?
He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, exhaling sharply. He had told himself a thousand times that ending things was the right thing to do. That Heeseung deserved better, someone stronger, someone who didn't feel so...inadequate. But none of those thoughts made the ache any easier to bear.
He kept thinking about Heeseung—the way his red hair shimmered under the sunlight, the way his laugh could light up a room, the way his presence alone felt like home. God, he was so stupid. The harder he tried to push Heeseung out of his mind, the harder it became to breathe.
Jake's hands hovered over his keyboard. He had work to do, emails to send, reports to finish, but all he could do was sit there, paralyzed by regret.
Should I apologize? He asked himself for the millionth time. Should I call him? Text him? Or would that just make things worse?
A bitter voice in his head reminded him that he had no right to want Heeseung back after throwing him away so carelessly. But another part of him—the part that remembered how Heeseung had looked at him with those soft, adoring eyes—kept urging him to fix this.
He pressed his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the relentless loop of thoughts. If he apologized, there was a chance Heeseung wouldn't want anything to do with him. What if Heeseung hated him now? What if he'd moved on? The idea made Jake's stomach churn.
But...what if Heeseung was hurting too? What if he was waiting for Jake to reach out?
The uncertainty gnawed at him, and before he could think twice, Jake grabbed his phone from the desk, heart pounding. The bright screen reflected back at him mockingly.
He scrolled through his messages, his thumb lingering over Heeseung's name. Their last conversation was still there—Jake's cold goodbye. He clenched his jaw, staring at it until the words blurred in front of his eyes.
Fuck this. He couldn't take it anymore.
Jake leaned back in his chair, glaring at the bright phone screen reflecting mockingly at him. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to fix everything. But could he? Should he?
What if Heeseung told him to fuck off?
He groaned, running his hand through his hair. This wasn't something he could decide alone. His heart was too tangled in guilt and fear, and he needed a push—two people who would never hesitate to give their brutally honest opinion.
Without another thought, Jake exited Heeseung's chat and opened the group chat with Sunoo and Jungwon.
bitches 👹👺😘
sjaeyun.org
guys
emergency
Should I apologize to Heeseung?
kimddeonu
finally
some common sense 💀
wait
omg
POOKIE WAKE UP
yyangjwon
IM UP
why are you even asking?
sjaeyun.org
bc I fucked it up that bad, okay???
kimddeonu
well
yeah
but hyung you don't gotta ask
yyangjwon
Heeseung hyung's probably waiting for you
dumbass
Jake's fingers hovered above the screen, his heart hammering against his ribs. He could almost feel how easily things might spiral if Heeseung rejected him.
sjaeyun.org
What if he hates me now?
kimddeonu
wtf dude
trust me he doesn't
yyangjwon
he literally doesn't
just do it ffs
The responses came fast—too fast for Jake to think. It was all happening too quickly.
sjaeyun.org
are y'all sure?
like...100%?
kimddeonu
ONG YES
heeseung hyung isn't petty like you.
yyangjwon
stop stalling and GO hyung pls
kimddeonu
ive been waiting for this omg
JUNGWON GET THE WEDDING PLANNERS
yyangjwon
calling them rn
sjaeyun.org
you guys are such bitches
kimddeonu
you still love us 😘
yyangjwon
real
Jake could hear their sarcastic grins through the screen. His hands were clammy, but there was no turning back now.
sjaeyun.org
okay
I'm doing it.
kimddeonu
good boy
yyangjwon
finally
yyangjwon
omg im so proud of Jake hyung
he ACTUALLY pulled someone
sjaeyun.org
shut up
atleast i didn't stare ridiculously at someone i js saw
all night
kimddeonu
oh hell naw
the only difference is jungwon pulled sm1 n kept him
you did not keep him
yyangjwon
LMAOO
sjaeyun.org
you guys are actually the same bitches
in different bodies
anyway
Don't tell Riki about this
okay?
kimddeonu
why
yyangjwon
wdym
sjaeyun.org
JUST DON'T.
A short pause followed, and for a brief moment, Jake thought they were going to give him a hard time, but:
kimddeonu
fine
yyangjwon
promise
Jake exhaled sharply, relief mixing with nervous anticipation. It was now or never. He threw on his jacket, grabbed his keys, and sprinted out of his office without hesitation.
The chill in the air barely registered. His pulse raced, and all he could think about was seeing Heeseung again.
No more doubts. No more waiting. Jake was going to get him back.
YOU ARE READING
raspberries and mocha | heejake ✔
Fanfictionlee heeseung, an ordinary 5-Star restaurant worker has been raising a child, nishimura riki ever since he was abandoned by his parents in japan. the guy truly felt like he was a single dad raising his kid. riki had grown up to be a famous influencer...
