Marielle's POV
Of course he's the first person I see when I walk into this party, a fantastic start to this evening...not. He looks surprised, almost scared, that I'm here...damn he looks fit in that shirt. Mari, snap out of it! I just have to ignore him tonight, that shouldn't be too hard right? There's plenty of other people to talk to so I'll survive. I say hello to Harry and I'm immediately left alone when he walks away with Diana to check on the catering. I see Louis and Eleanor a few feet away so I casually make my way over to see them.
"Wow, long time no see! How's it going, stranger?" Louis jokes as I hug him and Eleanor.
"Not too bad, just keeping myself busy!" I answer as cheerfully as I can muster. I miss seeing him and the rest of the boys on a regular basis. You become so accustomed to having people like them in your life that the second their gone you feel a huge piece missing out of you.
"Your outfit is so hot! Trying to impress anyone?" Eleanor questions cheekily. I look down at my black high-waist cigarette pants, magenta crop top and black heels and shrug innocently.
"Nope, just dressing up for the occasion." I'm not trying to get Liam's attention or anything, that's actually the exact opposite of what I want.
"Well it's obviously caught someone's attention." She smirks, looking over my shoulder. I turn slightly to see Liam quickly turning away. Was he checking me out? I shrug again pretending not to care when instead a feel a thousand butterflies whirl in my stomach.
"He's really been miserable without you, you know." Louis says looking over to him. I sigh, why is Louis trying to make me feel guilty? Liam's the one who broke my heart, remember? I didn't say that as to not dampen the mood of the festivities so after a few more minutes of talking I excused myself out of the conversation.
It's 11:55pm and everyone is beginning to gather around Harry's large television to watch the countdown. I'm getting claustrophobic from all of the bodies squished together so I escape to the kitchen to get a drink. I pour myself a glass of water and take a sip as I turn around to see Liam standing in the door way. Uh oh...awkward. He keeps his piercing glance on me as I continue to sip on my water, my body leaning against the counter.
"Hi." he finally speaks up but his voice is quiet and cautious.
"Hi." I respond enthusiastically. Well this isn't awkward at all.
"I wasn't expecting for you to be here tonight." he continues, walking closer to me.
"Well Harry insisted and he's still my friend so..." I reply nonchalantly. My heart is literally the exact opposite of nonchalant as with every step he comes closer my heart beats about 100 times faster.
"TWO MORE MINUTES!" I hear someone yell from the living room, earning cheers from the others. Two more minutes left of 2012, a year that had some of the best and worst days of my life. The year where I met the love of my life but also the year where he broke my heart.
I can't stand the awkward silence anymore so I try to make an attempt to go back into the living room but Liam's door-blocking stature won't let me. When I try to walk around him, he touches me in a way that has us facing each other in between the doorway, our faces only inches apart.
"I'm sorry..." he says quietly.
"Liam...I don't want to talk about this right now..." I begin. This is definitely not how I want to spend my first moments in 2013 and yet I can't find the strength to walk away.
"No, please listen. I don't want to start the new year off with you hating me. I'm sorry for everything I did, you have every right to be mad at me. I don't expect you to forgive and take me back but can you do one last thing for me?" he pleads.
"What?" I ask, both confused and nervous. He's right, I don't owe him anything. What makes him think he can ask a favor of me after all of this?
"Kiss me at midnight." he breathes. My eyes widen, that's definitely not what I thought he was going to say.
"10! 9! 8!" the party begins to chant. I'm frantic right now, should I kiss him? I'm pretty sure that's not something you're supposed to do with an ex.
"Mari, please. Just one kiss." his eyes are practically begging me.
I still love him, but I don't want him to think that this means I'll take him back. I don't know what to do!
"5! 4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" everyone cheers.
Without thinking I grab his face and frantically slam my lips into his. He instantly kisses back as his arms tightly wrap around my waist. Every sound around us seems to drown out to the point where I can only hear our hearts beating together. I lace my fingers around the back of his neck as our lips move in sync with each other. This feels so wrong that I should pull away, and yet it feels so right in ways I can't even explain. All the memories and love we had start flooding back but I know that it can never go back to the way it was. I finally return to reality, break the kiss and look up at him breathlessly.
"Happy New Years." he breathes, a small smile appearing on his lips.
"Happy New Years." I reply quietly. I just kissed my ex-boyfriend who broke my heart but who I still love on New Years...that doesn't make my life any more confusing at all (hint the sarcasm). I don't want my body to betray me like that again so before anything else can happen I quickly burst out of the kitchen, through the crowd of happy party-goers celebrating the start of a new year, turn the corner into a narrow hallway about to enter the bathroom when I feel a strong hand grab my arm and spin me around.
"You can't say that you didn't feel the fireworks go off like I did." Liam states, panting hard from chasing after me. He obviously isn't talking about the celebratory fireworks that are being shown on the telly.
I sigh loudly. "Liam, its not that easy. We can't just kiss and make up and have everything go back to the way it was! You hurt me..." my voice starts out loud but trails off. I look down at my feet and sigh again. "...was I a bad girlfriend? Did I not give you enough? Is that why you had to--" I look up at him again, tears forming in my eyes. My body betrayed me again, I don't want to show weakness in front of him, especially after all the progress I've made these past few weeks.
"No! No, don't ever say that again! You were the best thing to ever happen to me! I honestly don't know why I did something so stupid when I had everything with you." he pulls me closer to him, his hands gripping my shoulders hastily. I don't say anything, what am I supposed to say to that? "Look...I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I will have to say it but I will everyday of my life whether you're in it or not. But please, don't give up on us. Go on this tour and have a great experience...but just know that I'll still be there waiting for you when you get back. If after four months you still don't want to see me ever again, then I'll listen and disappear from your life forever." He pauses to study my face. I'm trying to process his words when I hear my name being called.
"Mari? Where are you?" Diana calls out from the living room. I sigh and look up at Liam's big brown eyes. I do what I think will get the message across without words: I hug him. I let his big arms wrap around my body as my face presses against his chest, hearing the rhythmic beating of his heart. We stay like this for a few moments before I pull away and quickly walk back to the living room, not taking another look at him.
"There you are! Ready to leave?" Diana asks, Harry's arm around her waist. I nod, I'm definitely ready to leave; leave this party, leave London and leave my old life behind.
