Evelyn. ~ Hunter x Fem!Grimwalker!Reader ~ The Owl House

.' 1 ~ a lying witch and a warden '.

I was waiting for Owlbert to return with the goods, Eda tapping her foot impatiently beside me. I was listening to some of my favorite songs through headphones that just so happened to cover the pointy parts of my ears.

This was a routine for us. Waiting for human trash to arrive. But hey, one man's trash is two scraggly outlaws' treasure.

After a while, the tiny little owl flew out of our raggedy tent, bag in tow.

"Finally, you're back!" Eda sighed. "Now, let's see what we've got here."

I scritched under Owlbert's chin. He chirped before flying on top of Eda's staff, screwing in.

I held up the bag. Eda reached in, pulling various things out.

A weird flat rectangle. 

"Garbage."

A shiny diamond ring.

"Garbage."

A sparkling golden chalice.

"Garbage."

She gasped suddenly, pulling out a pair of glasses with springy eyeballs and putting it on.

"Now this... this will make me rich."

"You look like that slug demon who cursed me out at the mall last week," I remarked.

"Perfection!" She pulled a book out. The Good Witch Azura, the title read. Seems flowery and dumb. "And this... this will make good kindling. Would you be so kind?"

I grabbed a candle, holding it under the book. I heard someone squeak, gasp, and a short, dark-haired girl ran out of our tent, snatching the book. "Excuse me, sorry, it's mine, thank you!" She ran back into the tent.

I gasped. My palisman, Evie, chirped on my shoulder. I nodded. She turned into a staff, landing into my hands. Eda and I ran into the tent after her.

"You're not going anywhere." Eda smirked menacingly and took off her eyeball-glasses, pressing the button on the key to fold up the portal door right before the girl could jump through.

The human girl.

"Waaah!" she yelped, running back out and skidding to a stop at the edge of a cliff.

I sighed. "Girl, pick a direction," I grumbled.

Eda and I walked back out. The human was talking to herself.

"...Did I die? Am I in the bad place?"

Eda snorted, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You wish."

She plopped down on a stool. "I'm so sorry! I just wanted my book! If you're gonna eat my skin, just make it quick! Just do it now!" she offered her arm out, squeezing her eyes shut.

Eda and I exchanged a look. "...Eat you?" my brows furrowed.

"Why would we eat..." Eda shook her head.

"A potential customer!" Both of us exclaimed simultaneously.

"Can I offer you a foot filled with holes?" Eda grabbed a bright green hole-filled foot before tossing it aside and grabbing something else. Its packaging said deodorant, something we were 87% sure was edible, and 100% sure was delicious. "A bar of green human candy? Oh, oh! How about this black shadow box that reflects only sadness?"

"That one's my personal favorite," I added, gesturing to the depression box with my staff. "You may think it reflects only sadness, but I think it reflects the pure, depressing truth."

"Well, that's grim," Eda huffed. "Don't scare the customer."

"Just speaking my mind, Mom," I added, slightly mockingly. Evie chirped in agreement, transforming from a staff back into pigeon form and settling on the top of my head.