Love, Guns & Kayise

08.

08.

MUZIKAYISE

Fụck! Did she have to wear my shirt only? I ask myself when I see Ntando descending the stairs in just a shirt of mine while rubbing her eyes. We always have breakfast as a family, and right now, everyone is staring at her.

"Good morning." She sees Mandlenkosi staring at her thighs, and this idiot is not even hiding it. Ntando also stares at herself. Maybe at her home, this is allowed but here we have a traditional father who believes that a daughter-in-law ought to stay covered and by the look of disapproval on his face, he's not liking this a bit.

"I'm sorry for not covering up. I hope this is okay with you since I have nothing to wear. Muzikayise's pants don't fit me." She yawns. My mother stood up.

"Come with me. I'll lend you one of Mina's dresses." She grabbed her hand and pulled her away.

"You already had sex?" MK asks, and Musa almost chokes on his cornflakes because he knows that last night I slept in his room.

"Aren't you moving too fast?" Mandle asks, not impressed a bit, but I don't answer them. I continue eating my breakfast without a word.

"Well, I know better," Musa says with a smug face. I feel like slapping the hell out of him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mandle asks him.

"It means you're getting late. We need to go." I pick up the sandwich and stand up. I rarely drop Musa off at school. That's MK's job. He drops off the kids, including Owami, who decided that she's not going to school today because of a runny stomach.

Musa stands up and picks up his bag, then follows me outside to where my car is parked.

"Are you scared of pụssy?"

"I'm not gay like you, I'm a Zikhali man." He dies of laughter. He's such a fool. I unlock the car, and he opens his door. Before I could open mine, I heard someone calling me, and I knew it was Ntando.

"Are you just going to leave me at your home?" She folds her arms. She's now wearing a yellow dress. It looks short on her since Mina is younger than her, but it's still appropriate.

"You're not a kid, Ntando."

"Say my full name. We haven't reached that stage where we give each other nicknames." She walks to me and grabs my car keys.

"I'm going upstairs to grab my stuff. When I come back, we are all going." She walks back into the house.

"The girl has you by the balls, I foresee a love story soon." Musa starts with his nonsense.

Ntando comes back and hands me the keys. Musa moves to the backseat to make space for her. I start driving out, and she connects her phone to my Bluetooth speaker. Nobody does that in my car, but I'm not ready for a headache.

I drop Musa off at his school since it's on the way to Ntando's home, then proceed with driving.

"Can we talk?" She lowers the volume.

"You're already talking."

"When am I going to move in with you?" Her question caught me off guard.

"Why would you want to move in with me?" I sound stupid. Yeah, I know, but wasn't I supposed to initiate that first?

"I'm your fiancée, aren't I? And another thing, I want to start working at your company." I stop the car in the middle of the road.

"What's wrong with you and reckless driving?"

"Whatever you're trying to do won't happen, Ntando. My family is off-limits. What do you know about working at a company? You're a damn preschool teacher."

"My dad owns a chain of supermarkets. He trained me to take over after him from a young age, and I'm a primary school substitute teacher."

"Why would you suddenly want to work at my family company then? Why not run those supermarkets?" My father has always taught me to keep my enemies closer, and Ntando is one. She has a motive, and it's my duty to protect my family. I won't fail them, even if it means pretending to be in love with this girl.

"I'm a part of the Zikhali family, aren't I?" I start driving after countless hoots behind me.

"I'll speak with my father and see which position we can create for you."

"Thank you." The smile on her face seems genuine, but I'm not buying any of that.

NTANDOKAYISE

It felt good to hand in my resignation letter. It felt like freedom. Like a huge weight has been removed from my shoulder. The principal was very sad to watch me leave since she adored me and was going to promote me to a permanent teacher soon but teaching is no longer for me and as a twenty-two-year-old, I wanna chase my happiness.

I've decided to take myself out on a solo date to celebrate, and here I am at an Italian Restaurant in Balito, enjoying a seafood platter with white wine. I'm scrolling on Instagram, stalking Muzi and his brothers. They have a sister, they call her Mina, but there's no trace of her anywhere. She's not there in their pictures or any mention of her in their profiles. Why would they hide her? And what could be her full name?

Her name reminds me of a friend that Amahle had once made. She would come back from school and give me a call and tell me about a beautiful friend she met. Those were the last conversations I had with her until one day she went missing. It felt like deja vu. Her body was discovered three days later with a bullet to her heart.

Amahle was the amazing sister anybody could ask for. She was always so full of happiness and naughtiness, and she loved life. She wanted to live so badly and explore the world. She had a diary where she had written about all the places she wanted to visit. She used to write everything in there, and now the diary is in my possession, but every time I try to open it, I cry.

It's so painful that I have to continue this life thing without her. People have left me, but Amahle's exit in my life is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. She was only seventeen. She was a kid. She wasn't even involved in the gangster life we were doing. We wanted to protect her. She knew about it anyway, but she never stopped loving us. She saw beyond every person's mistake and was very forgiving.

I'm a mụrder, I deserve to die, and that's fine, but Amahle didn't. Whoever kılled her will rue the day they were born. Even if it means finishing the whole Zikhali clan, then I will, but firstly, I want the real perpetrator. I want to look them in the eyes and ask them why they mụrdered Amahle. We never even had to eliminate any family member of theirs, so what was the grudge against us?