Fractured

8. Falling

I took a moment to absorb the chaos. All of this—over a stupid dinner. My breakdown.

God, I cringed just thinking about it. Losing control like that in front of Lucas felt like a punch to the gut. I'd tried so hard to keep my guard up, to lock everything away. I wasn't supposed to open up to a therapist, especially not like that. Ever.

But maybe, deep down, I wanted to. That thought hit me harder than I expected. I didn't know how to handle my emotions anymore. One second, I was fine—well, surviving. The next, I was falling apart over things I couldn't even name. I kept asking myself: What is wrong with me?

But I never got an answer.

I pressed my hands to my face, like I could physically hold the tears back. They were always there, just under the surface, waiting for the slightest push. How could one day feel so... relentless?

I shoved my hands into my pockets and closed my eyes, hoping that I could shut my brain off for a second. But no.

All I could think about was Lucas.

The way he looked at me like I wasn't broken, like I wasn't some train wreck he had to deal with. When he wrapped his arms around me, I felt safe.

Safe. That was new. He made me feel things I wasn't used to feeling—things I wasn't even sure I deserved.

And then there was that word... sweetheart.

I shouldn't feel anything about it, right? He probably says it to all his patients, just to comfort them. But something about the way he said it... it was like it reached into a part of me I didn't even know was there. I felt something. And that scared me. Why did I feel something?

I groaned, pressing my palms harder against my temples. I didn't want to think anymore. If my brain could just shut off for a few hours, or even drown itself in some white noise, I'd take it. Anything to avoid confronting this weird, confusing... feeling toward Lucas.

It reminded me of Carter. How I felt when I first started falling for him. That flutter in my chest, the way my thoughts circled back to him when I didn't want them to. The way I tried to convince myself it was nothing, that it wasn't happening. But it was.

No. This was different. There was no way in hell I was falling for Lucas. That couldn't happen.

I just liked the attention. That's all it was. He saw me when I felt invisible, and I got caught up in it. There was nothing else to it. It didn't mean anything.

Right?

I forced myself to interrupt my own spiraling thoughts. Enough inner turmoil for one day.

Clearing my throat, I walked back inside, sliding the door shut behind me.

Mango was sitting at Lucas's feet, her tail wagging like crazy—faster than I'd seen it in ages.

I smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Glad to know Mango's found her new obsession," I said, letting out a small laugh.

Lucas looked down at Mango, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "She's loyal, huh? Must've sensed I needed a friend," he said, scratching behind her ears. Mango's tail thumped happily against the floor.

I walked over and sank into the couch beside him, hugging a pillow to my chest. "Yeah, she's a good judge of character," I muttered, glancing at him.

We talked for a few minutes—small stuff, nothing important. Just filling the space.

Then the silence settled in, heavier than before. The kind that made you hyper-aware of every breath.

I shifted uncomfortably, clearing my throat. "You don't have to stick around, you know," I said, forcing the words out. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that. It was... really embarrassing."