Fractured

20. Healing? [TW]

As I sat up from Lucas's couch, a wave of pain throbbed through my skull—a reminder of the night before. The pill had been a brief escape, a weight lifted in the moment, but the crash that followed was merciless. Today was no exception.

I squinted down at the small table next to the couch. A glass of water sat there, balanced on top of the note. I snatched it up, chugging the water as if I'd just stumbled out of a desert, desperate for relief. My mouth was dry, stale, like I'd spent hours talking and forgot to drink anything.

As I set the empty glass down, flashes of last night crept into my mind, hitting me with every painful beat of my migraine. 

I remembered the girl—Lucie. I trusted without a second thought, fooled by the warmth in her eyes and the softness in her voice.. 

And then there was Faena, who bailed on me like I was a stranger, leaving me stranded in a mess I'd made. Lucas, too—coming back into my life just in time to see me at my worst, his look of disappointment cutting deeper than any words.

I buried my face in my hands, pressing my palms against my temples as if I could somehow squeeze out the regret and guilt. My life felt shattered, like every piece I'd struggled to put back together had slipped out of place again.

Never in a million years did I think I'd be taking pills from strangers, let alone putting myself in this situation willingly. I barely recognized the person I was becoming. It felt like I was slipping further away from who I used to be, spiraling down a path I didn't want.

I just wanted to change. I wanted to stop this before it became an addiction, before I ended up losing everything—and everyone—I still cared about.

Just then, I heard the front door unlock. In walked Lucas, his glasses perched on his nose, already dressed and put together as if it were the middle of the afternoon. He had that calm, focused look about him, the one he always wore when he'd been up for hours handling things.

I glanced over at the clock and felt a surge of embarrassment. Oh, shit. It was already 2 p.m.

"Good afternoon," Lucas said, raising an eyebrow as he took in my rumpled state.

"Good afternoon," I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck.

Lucas stepped fully into the apartment, locking the front door behind him before crossing over to the couch. He lowered himself beside me, close enough that I could feel the warmth of his presence but still leaving a respectful space between us. He studied me, his expression a blend of concern and quiet understanding.

"How are you feeling?" he asked gently, his voice softer than I expected.

I shrugged, looking away. "Horrible," I admitted, my fingers nervously tracing the edge of the couch cushion.

I continued, clearing my throat, forcing myself to meet his gaze. "Thanks for letting me crash here."

Lucas's face softened, but he kept his tone firm. "Don't let it happen again under these circumstances," he said, his eyes steady, holding a mix of worry and disappointment. Then, after a moment, he added, "But... you're welcome."

The words hit harder than I expected. I nodded, sinking a little deeper into the couch, feeling both the comfort of his presence and the weight of my own choices.

I took a deep breath, feeling the words press against my chest. "Lucas," I started, hesitating as his gaze drifted away, his jaw tightening. "Can we... can we talk about us?"

He let out a sigh, leaning back against the couch. His eyes flickered with something guarded, almost resigned. "Jessie, I don't think that's a good idea." He looked away, running a hand through his hair. "Look, I know where your head's at. You want Carter."