Fractured

19. Background Noise [TW]

The next couple of weeks were fucking exhausting. My mom took me everywhere, practically glued to my side. Not for a second did she let me out of her sight. She even took two and a half weeks off work—just to babysit me. It didn't stop there. She forced me to get my old job back, saying I needed to "keep myself busy."

Her constant reminders and news articles filled my phone, each one more gruesome than the last. Stories of people dying horrible deaths, overdosing on narcotics, or getting tangled up with drugs in some tragic way. Those became her version of good mornings, good nights, and even fucking I love yous.

I hadn't taken a pill since she found out, but the craving still gnawed at me, just beneath the surface. The numbness they brought—it was always there, waiting, calling. But I knew I had to wait it out. I didn't want to turn into a fucking junkie.

That word... junkie. It reminded me of AA meetings. Of Kael. He always talked about how hard it was to stay clean, but he did it. For years. And now his funeral was coming up—this Friday. Today was Tuesday. I could manage until then, right?

Fuck. Was I letting Kael down? Falling into the same trap he fought so hard to escape? The thought weighed heavy on me. I didn't want to be stuck like this, trapped in a cycle I didn't know how to break. But control felt impossible to find.

Suddenly, Faena's voice cut through the usual hum of my surroundings. 

Oh, I forgot to mention something.

Me and Faena? Yeah, we were "cool" now—whatever that even meant these days. She'd apologized for everything, but I could tell it was just another phase. She'd ghost me, only to pop back in when parties or some drama was involved. It wasn't like this before. We used to genuinely enjoy each other's company. Now, her life seemed to revolve around Instagram posts and getting drunk.

Anyway, back to reality.

"Hey!" Faena shouted, her voice blending with the pounding bass of the stereo nearby. "Don't just sit here all night! Go mingle! C'mon!"

She flashed me a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

I stood up, letting out a long sigh. I'd only been here an hour, but for the first time, I genuinely wished my coworker hadn't covered my shift. Dealing with clueless hillbillies sounded way better than putting up with drunk college kids who acted so "woke" yet didn't know a damn thing.

Before I could turn back, Faena grabbed my arm, tugging me into her circle of friends. Ironically, most of them were guys.

One of them, a guy with a mess of frizzy black hair, gave me a stare that was all too familiar. It was that same look I'd gotten a hundred times in high school—a mix of pity and distaste, probably wondering why I looked so tired or whatever else he was judging me for. Then, without a second thought, his eyes flicked back to Faena, who was as radiant as ever, the sight everyone loved to see.

"There she is!" he cheered, raising his cup in a way that felt like I was the punchline to some inside joke.

Faena giggled, playfully swatting Bryan's arm. "Oh, stop, Bryan! I was gone for like... two seconds."

Bryan's smile faded as he gripped his drink tighter, his gaze never leaving her. "Worst two seconds of my life," he said, his tone barely masking how serious he was.

Another guy, Hassan, snickered. "Dude, could you get any more blatant?" He raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth curving into a smirk.

Faena laughed, brushing it off. "Oh, stop, Hassan. He's just being nice."

The whole exchange grated on my nerves. Without thinking, I muttered, probably a little too loudly, "Or being desperate."

Hassan nearly spit out his drink, laughing as he shoved Bryan into the guy next to him. "Damn! You got played, bro!"