The Religious & The Damaged

45

Elias

  I walk into school and go to the stairwell, and my friends look over at the echo of the door shutting behind me.

  I walk down the steps, and Nick gestures the cigarette he holds to me. I take it.

  "You missed a fun time last night." He says.

  "I was with Jillian."

  Suddenly, a grin tugs at his lips, and I roll my eyes as I huff out a light laugh.

  "Oh and how are things with Jillian?"

  "Normal. Fine, I mean.."

  "And here it comes." Spencer chimes in.

  "It's just fine. She's a nice girl."

  Joey snorts out a laugh and says, "Talk about friend zone."

  I sigh. "I'm just gonna give it another shot. Maybe, I'm still hung over Joseph."

  "And there it is." Spencer says, and I glare playfully at him.

  Nick looks at me from him. "Don't force it, man. If you go into it expecting to feel one way, you'll come out feeling another way."

  I nod and bring the cigarette to my lips. "Yeah..."

  I take a drag.

  Nick pats me on the shoulder before turning his attention back to the others.

  They praise him for his advice.

  "Spoke like a true god." Spencer says.

  "Who knew you were so wise, Nick." Joey adds, and Nick grins—his head tilting to the side.

  "Fuck off."

  I laugh with the two, and the bell rings.

  I take another drag of the cigarette before handing it over to Nick.

  I walk ahead, up the stairs and out the door. I head down the hall, but I'm pulled to a halt when I see Joseph in the doorway of our class and he's hugging Kelsey as she speaks to him, but I'm too far to hear.

  I stand there because I feel awkward.

  I don't want to interrupt, so I wait until they stop and Joseph walks into the room, then I do.

  I glance over as he takes his seat and my eyes widen at the condition of his face—he's barely recognizable.

  I never noticed how much he's changed; he's covered in bruises and swelling and he looks sick, like really sick.

  I wonder if he's been eating, but the dark purple under his eyes, pale skin, and sunken cheeks tell me enough to come to the conclusion that he hasn't been.

  We make eye contact, and I quickly look away and take my seat.

  My heart is pounding as my eyes dart my desk, and the question of if he's okay overwhelms me.

  "You okay?"

  I look over at Jillian, and she holds a worried look on her face.

  I clear my throat and nod.

  "Yeah." I shake my head a single time, shaking away the thought. "I'm fine." I say.

  Her eyes examine my face, like she doesn't believe me, and I don't blame her.

  I know I probably look panicked, but how can I not be?

  I'm only now seeing the toll on Joseph, and I feel like shit because I didn't see it sooner.