The Religious & The Damaged

53.2

Joseph

  I sit across Jillian, and she looks up at me.

  I smile wordlessly, and I make sure it's gentle and reassuring.

  She returns it, but it's more fragile than anything else.

  We begin eating.

  It's silent for a while, and it's not until lunch is over that she speaks.

  She says, "Kelsey talked to me."

  I stop as I stand, and my gaze reverts to her.

  Her fragile gaze tells me that it didn't go well, so I sit back down.

  "She doesn't like me."

  I furrow my brows. "Why do you say that? Is that what she told you?"

  She exhales shakily, and it's clear she's on the verge of tears as she breaks eye contact and shakes her head.

  "But you should've seen her face." She looks up. "She hates me."

  I smile and slide my hand across the table to take hers in an attempt to reassure her, but just in case that's not enough, I say, "She doesn't hate you. She could never hate you."

  A flicker of hope flashes in her eyes.

  "You should've seen her face when she talked about you to me. She likes you a lot."

  A slight smile tugs at her lips. "You really think so?"

  I nod. "She's just as hurt as you, and I think it's important that you two go through this because if you rush into something when you're not sure of your feelings, both of you will get hurt."

  She huffs out a light laugh. "Are you speaking from experience?" She asks.

  My expression softens as I nod again, glancing over at Elias as he talks to Nick.

  Then, I look back at Jillian.

  "You two will be okay." I reassure her.

  "Can I have a hug?"

  I nod and stand.

  She stands and walks around the table to me, and I hold my arms out.

  She falls into my chest.

  I hold her tight, and my eyes follow Kelsey as she leaves the cafeteria.

  I rub Jillian's back as I pull away, and I look at her for reassurance that she's okay.

  She seems to understand the look I give her, and she nods.

  I smile at her one more time before I step back and follow after Kelsey.

  "Kel." I call out, and she stops and turns at the end of the hallway. I walk over. "Are you-"

  She shakes her head; worry spreads across my face.

  "I hate this." She says.

  I nod and pull her into a hug, and her hands grasp tightly onto my sweater.

  "I know. It's okay." I speak softly.

  Her grasp tightens.

~•~

  I climb out of my car and stare at the diner, anxiety running through me, leaving my hands clammy and my gaze unfocused.

  Elias steps next to me—my only indication being that he takes my hand, and it breaks me from the trance I find myself in.