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# 10:pt.1: the pickup lecture

#10. Hell minus the circles: A lecture for a new class of devil.
(Including the notes!)

Pratt Kansas late winter 2024

Now then before we begin, I would like to preface this whole shenanigan with this, I don't give a damn about rejection, in fact reject the hell out of me if you see that I am actually pulling this off, in fact, won't you haze me for actually even coming here this evening, haze me so badly that I have no other choice but to be accepted, into this place, with no more eagerness than a beaver on a log. That's not bad
Okay so normally I reserve this kind of a speech for coeds which attend colleges with mascots that are beavers but in this case I believe I have to give it to you a bit differently and also for reasons of sheer absurdity, but for reasons of clarity I do believe I will just pretend that your mascot is a beaver, now then my original intention for delivering this address and most incorrigible application was, that I arrive here and be overcome by a beaver, do you know any of those? Are they nearby? Could I see her from here? Wonderful, now before you but in and interrupt me I have to say yes I have been working on this for about a month and a half and I've never delivered it quite like this, and also, is it just me or do you usually let strange men speak for you this way,? It is me it's just me only me wonderful spectacular right there say, when can we do the things anyway?
Now before we get started I believe I have some information, yes, some extremely urgent, and poignant, information, that I believe I need to debrief upon you, and about, and so I speak, for you en masse, round this point, see we here at the incorrigible news network, have reason to believe, that we have unreasonably boring and uneventful lives, lives of anxiety and fruitless endeavor, of nonchalance desperately seeking a chance, to be lived moreover, upon.
You see we have no home, except your attention, and we have no say, except for that which you give to us, and we have no way, of knowing, what your true and real intentions for us are, and so it is with a heavy heart, that we here at the incorrigible news network, concede our mighty and planet sized EGOs, and throw ourselves upon your mercies, as merciless, as some of you are, and then beg you, to let us remain, in this state, having been overcome, so completely and so wonderfully, by the almighty beavers, of this fine establishment, thank you all for coming, good night… wait, I haven't even debriefed you! Where are my manners?! And my notes! By God where are my notes?!! Ill have to apologize, it seems a beaver has eaten my notes for this lecture!
(From audience) yeah an they're out in the parking lot eating your car now too!!

And Be sure to Join us next week for our latest and highly anticipated ambush colonoscopy lecture series, brought to you be the seven hundred groin kicks with steel toed boot corporation, in conglomeration with fuck-alota-puss industries, in combination and colloquial cahoots also with, the camel gagging bag of dicks corporation, we hope to see you there, enjoy your evening.