You exist in winter

Part 3: Chasing that dream

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On the first day of the new year, when the sunlight shines through my window and brings with it countless promises and hopes. Because I didn't have school today, I woke up later than usual. After brushing your teeth, wash my face thoroughly. I stopped by Pyaterochka as usual to buy breakfast.


On the way. From a distance, peering through the window, I happened to see Jay standing and talking to Yulia. After that, I witnessed my best friend hugging Yulia and then walking out of the store.


"Those two seem quite close, don't they?"

I tell myself.


"Anyway, they have been close since childhood. And there's no way someone could possibly like me."


I sighed and walked in, Yulia was still standing to choose her breakfast. I quietly walked by avoiding her while choosing my breakfast.


Oh! Dmitri. It's so nice to see you here!

I was surprised when she noticed me. So i quickly turned around and gave her a smile.

" By the way, I... I want to thank you. "

I asked with concern:

"Why are you thanking me?"


"Yesterday, thanks to you for talking to me." I can finally release all the pent-up frustrations in my heart.


"Oh, that thing? Friends should help each other. Its not a big deal. "


Yulia looked down and smiled, her cheeks flushed as if she was about to ask something very embarrassing.


"But since we have a day off from school today, do you have any plans?"

She asked me embarrasingly.


"Um... Not yet, I don't have any plans to go anywhere. "


" Do you want to go somewhere ?"


Yulia nodded but didn't respond.


I thought for a moment and then said with a smile:


"Let me guess, going to watch fireworks with you, right?"


Yulia laughed and said:


" It's like we're on the same wavelength! So, do you want to go? "

She asked me .


" Alright, if you don't mind someone like me."


I nodded, then went with Yulia to the cashier to pay. On the way home, my heart was a mix of excitement and a bit of anxiety. Maybe it's because this is the first time I'm going out with Yulia. Or maybe it's because earlier I saw my best friend hugging Yulia, which made me worry that Jay would be the one to take Yulia away from me.


I try to brush that thought out of my mind and tell myself that it's just a gesture of friends comforting each other. Anyway, her mother just passed away. As Yulia's childhood best friend, she actually only has one relative left, and that's Jay. After all, this dinner isn't a date. It was just a gesture inviting someone out for dinner out of pure curiosity of wanting to know more about that person. Right ? I have always hate thoughts in my mind that i dont know the answer to it. It's just making me more tired in addition to all the workload at school.


Before the appointment around 5 PM, I took a good nap to have enough energy for the evening. Because yesterday, I talked to her for 4 hours straight until almost 1 AM. To be honest, after hearing her story, I also want to become part of her family. Someone who can be by your side and protect you.


Because at that moment, even though I was talking on the phone. I can also sense Yulia's fragility and vulnerability. It's as if she could burst into tears at any moment. But because I was afraid of making everyone worry, I always tried to appear optimistic and smiled at everyone. Which proved to be the best thing i have learned during my life so far.

As painful as the reality is, an emotionless and heartless person like me would never get any friends if had act the way i was programmed to be. Although somehow girls just keep flock to me even though i couldn't even fathom to look at myself in the mirror. " A heartless, ice-colded person is what I'am and what I'll always be ".

But this girl she's has something different. A spark perhaps, which makes her different from the other girls i had dated. She's awakening something inside me that had stayed asleep for so long. All these different range of emotions I'am experiencing unlike the other times. My heart racing, my face blush every single time I look at her. And her green eyes, bring a sense of serenity to my soul, away from all the noises and troubles in the real world. It just like a roller coaster ride every time I'am with her. But unlike any other times, I wish I could stay on this ride forever.

It's already the time, I've been waiting for about 15 minutes but still haven't seen Yulia. Worried, I was about to take out my phone when I saw her rushing over from afar. I stood frozen, staring at her for a moment. Yulia was wearing a pair of short tight pants together with a long black t-shirt that reaches past her waist, along with a small cross-body bag.

"Sorry, I'am late!"


I was frozen for a moment when I looked at her.

" Dmitri?"


"Ah.. yeah, I am here !"

I stuttered


" I spent the whole morning picking out the right clothes, so it took a bit longer. Sorry, but in the end, I don't even know if it fits or not. "

She said.

"You look really cute."

"Really ?"


She smiled and asked.

"Really."

I whispered.

I don't know what words to use to describe her that night anymore. Small stature, silly personality, oversized clothes, along with that smile and those eyes, make me feel like I'm being enchanted every time I look directly at you. But nothing can cover those small shoulders along with her past. Making you the person I always want to be by and protect.


"Then shall we go?"