Healing through pain || shivian story

Chapter 16:

Chapter 16: tw: panic attack

Time skip: it had been around a week since Siobhan and Vivian had last spoken and Siobhan was getting worse by the day, constant pain and relapsing. Siobhan was falling for Vivian but Viv had fallen hard, love. They had been friends for around two and a half months and even a few staff members had noticed Siobhan's sudden change, little did everyone know she was engaged to the monster.

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R: Siobhan! Get downstairs now

Siobhan walks down the stairs, her eyes puffy from sobbing and her wrists bruised from being pinned.

R: your covering at the sister nursery for a few days-

He looks at her in disgust

R: clean yourself up women, the state of you, honestly.

She nods and walks up the stairs to get ready. Whimpering as her sleeves fall onto her swollen, aching skin. Bruises burning as the makeup covered her neck and face, hiding the injuries she is left with.

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Siobhan walks into the office to find Marjorie sitting at her desk on the phone to Reece. How could someone that grew up with a monster like Roger be so gentle and kind? A true man, Marjorie is lucky.

M: you alright Siobhan?

Siobhan ignores her and sits at autumns desk who was covering in the room with her husband. Siobhan opens the computer, she hasn't slept in days, too afraid. She places her head on her hand, it was banging. She drifts off and Marjorie notices.

Marjorie and the siblings have been worried about Siobhan, devising a plan to try help her, no proof. They contacted Mia who helped them a lot too as she was in town for a few weeks. She had dealt with Roger too and could have some information.

Autumn walks in with a confused look on her face, Siobhan was asleep. Marjorie reaches over to nudge Siobhan yet slips slightly grabbing her shoulder. Siobhan jerks awake and grabs the desk, although she was sitting down she needed it to support her. She gasps with a whimper, looking around the room frantically.

M: siobhan?

Siobhan is panicking, Marjorie's voice echoes. Her breathing speeds up as she gasps for air, it feels like she can't breathe. Her hand grabs her chest as a desperate attempt to breathe, clutching her shirt revealing bruises and marks left by Roger. Her heat racing as she trembles. Shaking.

A: Siobhan breathe, your safe.

Autumns voice ringing in her ears. It didn't matter, she can't stop. Siobhan shakes violently as her eyes squeezed shut.
Reece walks in with Marjorie's morning coffee

R: hey, one coffee for y-

He noticed the panic between the two girls and Siobhan left sobbing, hyperventilating. He rushes over to her and bends down next to the office chair Siobhan was on. He reaches out softly towards her. Siobhan's eyes race open as she falls back onto the floor

S: please don't, I can't, please

she whimpers, crying, breathing rapidly. He was a completely different man to Roger yet reminded her too much of him. He was his son after all. These pleads caught the attention of one parent. Vivian.

V: Jamie, run to Charlotte, that's right, you can see her, tell her to block off the office way to parents. Good job my brave boy

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Jamie rushes to Charlotte with a big smile, thinking it's a game or challenge. She scoops up the young boy

C: well hello there! What are you doing here so early!

J: well mama wanted to see shibs early but then we walked past the room and I heard crying and mam said to rush to you and say no one is allowed down there.

C: ok then!

Charlotte begins to wave down Mia who was stood in the car park after dropping Charlotte to work. Mia walks into the room and Charlotte relays what Jamie had said. Mia rushes to the office to divert any parents and what she saw broke her.

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Siobhan pants desperately. Reece feeling helpless as autumn stares blankly at her. Marjorie walked over to attempt to calm the situation. Touching Siobhan's hand and gently breathing in and out to try calm Siobhan. Failing.

Siobhan feels trapped in this constant state of panic and chaos. The anxiety overcomes her, she can't breathe. she chokes on the tears streaming down her face, removing the makeup covering the wounds, exposed now. She claws at her throat, wiping off the makeup revealing the hands of Roger around her neck, begging her body to let her stop.

Shaking, her knees slowly bring themselves up to her chest as she sobs. Trying to cover herself up, she feels weak and exhausted. Shaking into her knees, begging for this feeling stop. Siobhan had panic attacks before yet she could stop them after a few minutes.

The pain and panic in her eyes as they darted from the corners of the rooms as if bouncing off the walls showed her terror and fear. She begins to choke on herself, the air barely escaping as she squeaks in agony and fear.
Vivian rushes in. She drops to Siobhan side, she is stuck in the corner of the room, pressed up against a wall. She reaches out to Siobhan causing her shake and tremble.

V: hey, it's ok, it's Vivian. Siobhan.

As soon as those words sunk in, Siobhan looks up and falls into her arms. Sobbing as Vivian rubs her back gently, she follows her breathing pattern yet still can't get a hold of herself, she feels as finger lift up her chin. A flashback appears to the night where Roger found Vivian's number.
She throws herself back and cries pleading for it to stop, whispering to herself. Vivian shuffles over and holds her calmly, Siobhan looking up at her into her eyes. They were kind and caring, comforting, not cold and harsh.
She calms down as Vivian begins to slowly press gently up and down on her back, regulating her breathing.

Mia rushes in and immediately runs to autumn and Reece, this had to be hard for them too. It felt like looking into a mirror of their past. Marjorie allowed a few tears to fall from her face watching the cruel cold woman crumble to her reality.

Siobhan silently sobbed into Vivian's chest, breathing deeply allowing herself to calm down. Slowly her eyes shut as she falls asleep from pure exhaustion. Vivian breathes a sigh of relief, she looks down at the blonde and back up the others, they exchanged a look of fear for Siobhan.

V: she has been at breaking point for weeks! Why couldn't you guys help her, you're so casual it's infuriating.

She whispers with a stern angry tone.

Parents begin to filter in so everyone in the office walked out and shut the door, directing parents away.

Silence filled the room. Siobhan begins to slowly stirs and sit up, her expression goes cold as if nothing happened. She tightly hugs Viv and walks out. Her eyes puffy and red, yet her demeanour cold and casual. She barges past the four staff members waiting outside the door and heads for the exit. Reece and autumn silent as Marjorie is shocked how easily Siobhan can put on her mask and walk away. Mia thinking silently.