BRIZO 2 | 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤

6 (II)

A/N: Hello everyone. I'm going to take a quick second to get something out of my chest. 

I haven't posted a new chapter in a couple of days, and I'm going to be very honest about the reason why. As you may know, Liam Payne has sadly passed away recently. And I admit the news hit me like a truck, and I've been lost in sadness these last few days. 

I want to make something very clear. This grief that I've been experiencing - I know it was a selfish grief. I was not mourning the abuser he had become in recent years. I was mourning the loss of the boy he once was, the one I grew up with and that I spend my whole adolescence admiring. Which is selfish of me, I know. 

It has been weird, feeling that. I've been conflicted, and I've been feeling a lot of guilt for crying because of someone who had been accused of so many horrible things by his ex partners. But I've come to realize that it is okay to feel sad. It is okay to mourn. And it is okay to look back at those memories of being a teenager completely obsessed with One Direction. 

Please, do not let anyone on the Internet tell you that you cannot feel whatever it is your feeling. 

With that being said, I send my thoughts to his family, his partner and his son. And especially, to Maya Henry. It deeply saddens me that the world is blaming her for sharing her story and her experiences. None of this was her fault. I wish Liam could've gotten the help he so clearly needed, and I wish he had had the chance to make amends and be held accountable for his mistakes. I wish Maya Henry didn't have to experience what she must be feeling right now, having lost the opportunity to make her abuser accountable for what he did to her. 

Death is always sweet just for the person who experiences it. It leaves the rest of the people the person had touched with conflicted feelings and unresolved bussiness. 

That is all. I just wanted to get this out of my chest. I'll forever miss the Liam I knew back when I had my walls covered with 1D posters. I feel like I've lost a part of my teenage years in these days, and I think I'll never get it back. That's okay, I guess. I assume it's part of growing up. 

If you've found yourself feeling like I've done, again - don't let anyone on the internet tell you how to feel. If you want to cry, you can cry. If you want to be angry, you can be angry. And if you want to mourn, you can mourn. You can feel whatever the hell it is you want to feel.

Sorry if  this is not what you expected when you opened this chapter... I'm done now, I promise. 

-Circe x

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CHAPTER SIX

consequences of your actions