The Secret Life of Blythe

29. Leo

Luca Aldo Paul Romano was born at the start of December, four weeks after we came to live back in the main house. A whopping 9lb and the centre of our world. We gave him our father's names, it felt like the right thing to do. I haven't put him down since we were discharged from the hospital two week's ago. Blythe delivered him by C-section and she's recovering well.

"You know you're making a rod for your own back" she smiles.
I chuckle I can't seem to prize him out of my arms. He's the apple of my eye.
Blythe sits up on the couch as he starts to fuss, I hand him over to feed but feel the loss as soon as I do.
"He's so beautiful Leo, I know we're his parents but he really is"
"He came from you of course he's gonna be beautiful" I wink.
"Cut the crap Romano, you know what I mean"
I do. He really is a pretty baby and quiet too, he's no trouble at all. He's happiest in one of our arms.

I take snaps of them throughout the day, I've turned in to one of those guys. But I'm so happy I just don't care how much of a pussy I'm turning in to. They come first now always. It's funny how having a kid changes you, it really does. You no longer feel that important in the grand scheme of things.

I see Blythe's mind drifting off as our son nurses. She shifts slightly and the cloth covering her other breast falls down. I pick it up and place it back on her, my nuckle grazing her nipple. I know what's going to happen to my dick now so I stand and head to the kitchen to conceal it. I can't help myself, even more since she's become a mother. I'm in awe of what she's given us, it's like my desire for her has trebled overnight. She offered me a taste of her milk when I enquired and I had to turn it down in case I exploded in front of her. Yep, I'm an absolute pervert where she's concerned.

I want to speak to Mattia about the loss of her sister, it's been troubling me.  I can see she isn't far from either of our minds since we found out about her.  Now I know the love you feel for your child, it hurts even more to think of what her poor mother went through.  Her father too, it must have pained him knowing he set off the chain of events.  Family means everything to me, if there's a possibility of a sister of ours out there I don't think I can let sleeping dogs lie.  I know it's not the right time to bother Blythe with it, she's still recovering from major surgery but I will when the times right. 

Mattia, is a don now, it's crazy to think that my best friend of all those years heads up one of the biggest crime families in New York.  I know he'll help at the drop of a hat.  He feels low about how much pain he's helped inflict on us.  It wasn't his fault, not really.  It was mine, I have to take full responsibility for all of it.  He's right, it was going to happen, I knew it and he did, he just made it happen sooner rather than later.  I try not to put myself through the pain of thinking about it, i feel the regret swimming around my veins every time i open my eyes in the morning.

I don't feel any confusion in my mind about Gia anymore, there's absolutely nothing she has that would make me walk out on this slice of heaven I have here, it sickens me to even suggest that I would, shes lower than vermin as far as I'm concerned. I just wish more than ever that I'd realised it sooner and not put my wife through all that heart ache.  I hate my past still, but it makes me more determined to ensure my son has the best upbringing, like his mother did.  I don't want any demons interrupting his sleep, not ever. 

I make Caesar wraps and cut them up small for her.  She smiles and shakes her head when she see's that I'm babying her too.  She hands Luca back to me for burping.  I get another full frontal of her tits and swallow back the saliva in my mouth.
"You know, you're looking at me like a pubescent teenager right now Leo"
"Sorry" it's all I can say.  I'm desperate to touch her.  Cuddle her, I'll take anything.  I know it's not the right time but I can't seem to stop myself. If I'm not thinking about my son I'm thinking about her.  It's unhealthy, I want to work out but can't bare the thought of leaving either of them, even if I'm only twenty metres away.