LILY WHITE

ONE

LILLIE

    It is Saturday and it's 7:30 in the morning. The Romeros will be here in 30 minutes, my home is clean, breakfast is being prepared, and candles are lit. Our home is completely prepared for their arrival.

    I've been awake since six in the morning, I wake up tired from the constant overthinking the night before, my head finds an ache in my sleep.

    I stick to my regular routine, shower first, a daily walk second. I lay in my room on the windowsill and I wait so patiently. I read a book and drop my head down into its words.

    I always feel unfilled when there's nothing to be done, no school, no job, no chore or event to get ready for. I find myself in my own head again, no distractions or escapes left. All that's left is to wait.
                 -
I hear the sound of their car, it makes a different sound than all the other cars I've heard, it's softer, I can recognize it in a heartbeat.

    I look out of my window and it's the pale blue car I wait for every year. I see Tommy and Karlie in the back of untinted windows and I see their parents in the front, they're smiling like they've won the lottery and singing like their voices wont ever come back.

    I've noticed that the Romeros actually enjoy spending summers here, they are always wearing the brightest, most genuine smile. I wonder if it's a way out of their lives at home, Sarah is an elementary school teacher and Jon is a professor at a local university. They've mentioned before that it's very stressful at times as well as tiring, summer seems to transform them, give them time to rest.

    I see them take their suitcases out of the trunk and my parents go to the driveway to help them in. I decide its time to go greet them.

    I take a step down the stairs and wonder if Tommy is smiling too, if he looks any different, if he still brings the same white suitcase he brings every summer. I take another step and wonder how big Karlie is now, if her blond locks still come up in pigtails on the sides of her head. I hurry down the stairs when I hear the door open and Sarah sigh of relief.

    My jaw almost drops.

    Tommy looks unrecognizable. His hair isn't short anymore and it curls softly. He's gotten a lot taller and he's built himself to look stronger, he towers over his father now. His eyes and his freckles stay the same, but his face looks leaner. He looks absolutely majestic.

    The last time I saw Tommy he didn't wear much confidence, he was skinny and a lot shorter, he still had his baby face.

    Tommy looks at me, stares at me, like he always has. He looks me up and down, looks at my eyes, my hair, my shoulders, my legs. He keeps staring as Jon and Sarah greet me.

    "Lillie! Oh look at you!" Sarah grips my shoulders, analyzes me before pulling me in for a hug, my arms stuck between hers. "You get more beautiful every time we come." She smiles one more time before taking her things to one of the guest rooms.

    Jon follows behind her, he grabs my shoulder and whispers a simple greeting before walking forward.

    Karlie runs up to me next. She still wears her hair the same way she always does; two pigtails with two bows. She still wears pink and she still carries the same pale yellow stuffed bear.

    I bend down to match her height and she falls right into my arms. I hug her tight and she is still the same little Karlie from last summer, just a little taller, a little older, she's just turned four last month.

    I've always loved kids, I loved seeing their purity and the joy radiating off of them. They haven't yet experienced what the world is really like, they're oblivious to what is happening around them, and I have always admired that deeply.