"Can you manage for today, Mr. Lim?" Sunoo's voice sounded softer than usual, quieter, as if he was afraid someone might overhear the weariness in his tone. He stared at the ground as his fingers traced the edges of his handphone against his head.
He'd decided to take a day off—something he rarely allowed himself. He should be at the university but a dark thought lingered like a shadow at the back of his mind. "What if Sunghoon is there? What if he's already waiting for me outside?"
The mere thought of running into him made Sunoo's heart race. His stomach churned with the possibility. The ache in his chest told him to stay home. There was a chance—just a chance—that Sunghoon might not even know he wasn't at Jungwon's place anymore.
Yet that thought felt unsettling. How could things be so calm? "Why didn't Sunghoon make any attempt to see me after last night?" It wasn't like him at all. Sunghoon always found a way, even when it was suffocating.
"He must be planning something." Sunoo's mind spiraled as the paranoia creeped in. "He must be doing something behind my back, plotting a way to pull me back in."
Sunoo can't trust this sudden peace. It felt too unnatural, too temporary. Nothing in his life had ever been so still without something lurking beneath it.
And just then, a voice broke the train of his thoughts pulling him back to reality. "I'll manage that, Mr. Kim. You don't have to worry." the professor on the other end of the line said kindly.
Sunoo let out a sigh, though the relief felt empty. "Thank you." he whispered, repeating it a few times even though his gratitude was filled with unease. Mr. Lim had done nothing wrong with him, he was kind, patient even but that in itself made Sunoo uneasy.
Why was Sunoo always suspicious of kindness? "Why does it feel wrong when people are nice to me?"
There's an invisible weight that press down on him. He wanted to ask every person who showed him any warmth, Why?
"Why are you kind to me?" But he never could.
"Would they tell me the truth if I asked? Or would they lie? Would they use me the way he did."
The way the man he once called his lover did. That word "lover" felt bitter now. Tainted. It no longer held the sweetness it once did.
Sunoo ended the call and turned toward Jungwon, who had been silently watching him the entire time. His friend's face was anxious as if he'd been holding his breath the whole time. "He said he'll cover for me." Sunoo said trying to sound casual but even his own voice betrayed him.
Jungwon sighed, his shoulders relaxing visibly. "Good." he muttered yet the worry in his eyes didn't fade. He stood there grabbing his bag, ready to head out for work. As a therapist he had his own burdens to carry but today he seemed more concerned about Sunoo's.
Before leaving Jungwon hesitated, his hand lingering on the doorknob a bit longer. He glanced back, his eyes soft but troubled. "If you need something, anything, give me a call, okay?"
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𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐄 - 𝟐 || 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍 𝐀𝐔 𝟏𝟖+ ||
Fanfiction"I'm the marionette you play for fun. You have tainted our memories." - Kim Sunoo. "I am the voice in your head. I am the shadow you can't shake." - Park Sungho...