south park preferences/imagines

daddy pass the salt

God help me

Daddy/mommy kinks are low key off imo but no shame

 I'm too high to write this rn

This was requested 

This is embarrassing for me tbh like woah why am I doing this? What happened in my life to respite to this type of media writing?

Uhm anyway

Sorry if characters are out of order I can't remember who went where in the list

Eric Cartman 

- so idk why anyone would call CARTMAN daddy, but yk who am I to judge I'm the one writing this 😔

- it definitely awkward, for you not for him.

- he's one of those guys who's like "yeah she's MY girl now" yk?

- he gets one of those super 😼 smirks on his face as stares at your father 

- passed you the salt before your actual dad can 

- he was weird about this later, definitely made fun of you

- your dad told you to get a new boyfriend bc this one sucks (he's right)

Stan marsh

- your dad already didn't like him since his father (Randy) is a weed dealer and well, very much "Randy" so when the two of them both reached for the salt he was not happy

- Stan gets real awkward real fast

- very much red in the face, in a humiliated way 

- "oh well fuck."

- ends up excusing himself to throw up in the bathroom since he's got that nervous stomach thing 

- kind of just tries to leave as soon as possible

- definitely afraid of your father, like you dad already doesn't like him and now he has a real reason to 

Kyle Broflovski

- Kyle eating dinner with your family probably doesn't happen that often, since he's low key nervous as shit around your dad, he wants your dad to think highly of him and get his blessing and stuff 

- honestly he doesn't strike me as a guy who would ever want to be referred to as "daddy" but let's just say hypothetically if you did:

- he gets REAL quiet when he and your dad both reach to pass the salt to you

- literally freezes 

- he prob only just lets your dad do it and quietly makes his way to the bathroom to take a breather, you'd have to comfort him and tell him how your dad honestly thought it was funny as hell and he wasn't mad

- he gets a few weird looks when he comes to sit back down

Kenny McCormick 

- deadass doesn't fucking care 

- gets a "yeah that's MY girl" grin (like Cartman but less smug?)

- he's the one to pass you the salt

- your dad isn't happy but Kenny definitely is, he teases you about it later

- probably does feel sort of nervous about your dad being there but he does his best to try not to let it known 

- he probably tells Cartman the story because he thinks it's funny

Butters Stotch (fucking so mad it's not scotch)

- you don't call butters daddy ever

- so nothing happens

- you dad passed you the salt 

Clyde Donovan 

- nearly bursts into tears he gets so nervous (and mildly humiliated)

- TERRIFIED of your dad 

- "wait- uh can I take that back? That was wan accident!"

- literally just looks down at his plate and gives up, just eats his food in silence 

- your dad kind of feels bad for him and lets it go, patting him on the back a bit

- your dad passed you the salt while kind of laughing

Craig Tucker 

- also doesn't really care a lot (that's a lie he got REAL nervous)

- just says "oh- sorry sir" and lets your dad pass the salt to you 

- sort of just sits there awkwardly for a moment, mildly glaring at you in a "why would you do that to me" way, even if it wasn't intentional of your part 

- the evening goes on pretty fine after that 

Tweak tweek

- you don't call him daddy (it would be way too much pressure for THAT)

- nothing happens

- you father passes the salt

- dinner continues 

Micheal (curly goth)

- I doubt he'd make the mistake, for a guy who is bad at social interaction he's pretty good at keeping himself out of awkward situations 

- glares at you like you had been meaning to make him slip up, but also later makes fun of you for it not working

- your dad passed the salt, dinner continued 

Pete Thelmen (red goth)

- he doesn't like getting called daddy so I doubt he'd even register it at all (no social clue tbh)

- nothing happens 

Mike Makowski (vampir)

- if ANYTHING you'd call him some weird vampire title and not daddy, but like if you hypothetically were calling him daddy and he fucked up like that with your dad I think he'd just go red and hold in tears 

- "oh! I'm so sorry, per se!"

- looks down definitely, your dad doesn't really mind but he's still super nervous now

- the dinner table sort of all giggles at him and then goes back to eating 

Okay so also I'll do girls ig?? But with mommy.

Wendy Testaburger 

- you DO NOT call her mommy (it icky her out)

- nothing happens and dinner continues

Bebe Stevens 

- she probably giggles and goes a little red

- "oh I'm sorry ma'am, that won't happen again"

- pretty apologetic and a little embarrassed 

- nobody really minds, but your dad looks at you like your crazy for calling you gf "mommy"

Henrietta Biggle 

- she's never let you call her mommy, if anything at all it would be something like "mistress"

- mommy is too conformist

- nothing happens so dinner goes on 

- plus she hardly ever meets your family since she sort of gets intimidated by them (even tho she says it's conformits; she's scared your parents won't think she's good enough for you)