The Book of Rook

Chapter 30

ROOK

Motherfucking fuck! She flinched. She actually flinched when I touched her. My Sunrise was afraid of me. I would rather stab myself than hurt her, but she flinched at my touch. I'll never forget the look of horror on her face when that chair fell back. That image will forever be burned into my skull. I have to fix this. I can't have her afraid of me.

Instead of running up stairs and chasing her, I clean up the kitchen to give her time to calm down. I quietly take the stairs and go up to our room but she's not there. Figures, she's hiding in her old room. I'm such an idiot. I shake my head and let out a frustrated breath. I take steady steps to the other door, ready to do and say anything for her to believe I would NEVER hurt her. I'm sure she's heard all the excuses from her piece of shit ex. How can I earn her trust again and sound genuine?

I lightly knock, praying she opens the door. A shuffling sound is on the other side, but she doesn't open the door. "Please open the door, Sunrise. I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Anytime Frances is mentioned, I get so angry. That's not an excuse but an explanation. I'm not angry with you. Please believe me. I would NEVER hurt you." I rest my forehead on the door. "Please," I whisper.

The door unlocks and she opens the door as I step back. Her brown eyes search my face. I'm not sure what to do so I put my hands in my pockets, so she'll know I won't put my hands on her. "What can I do?" I ask softly. Eyes pleading.

"Talk to me. Explain to me why you hate Frances so much," she says as she opens the door wider as an invitation to come in. Thank fuck for that. I keep my hands in my pockets as she walks across the room and sits on the bed. Phoenix holds out her hand to me, beckoning me closer. I force myself not to run to her. Don't want to make any sudden movements to scare her. I'm treating her like a frightened kitten. Taking a seat on the bed next to her, I face her.

"I can't explain it. I just don't." God I sound like a 5-year-old.

She just nods her head, smiling. "Well let me tell you about the person I've been having lunch with." She tells me how my father met her during grief counseling sessions. I had no idea my dad went to those. Hell, I had no idea Frances was previously married and how she had money. I guess I don't know anything about her. Maybe I should give her a chance since she seems to love my father and Phoenix likes her. She can't be that bad.

"All I ask is for you to give her a chance. Please. For me and for your dad," she asks.

Well hell, I can't say no to that. I nod my head as I slowly take my hands out of my pockets. "Can I touch you?" My voice sounds shaky. I don't know what I'll do if she says no.

Her brown eyes soften as she nods her head. She takes my hand in hers, interlacing our fingers, placing them on her lap.

"I know you would never hurt me. I think I went into fight or flight mode when I heard the chair fall." She does a full body shiver. "One evening during dinner, I mentioned how I went to a bar with Violet for lunch and Brad became furious. He jumped out of his chair, toppling it over and started wailing on me."

Fuck. I triggered a memory. A horrible memory. "I know saying I'm sorry isn't enough. What can I do or say?"

"This is fine. My mind was still in that mode when you touched me, that's why I flinched. It had nothing to do with you hurting me. I know as I'm sitting here, you would never hit me. Coming after me and talking to me is something that never happened before. I usually would have to clean my cuts and cry myself to sleep. He would apologize the next day with flowers and lie how it would never happen again." She grabs a hold of my face and stares into my eyes. "You are nothing like him."