WHEN LOVE FAILS

CHAPTER 18 - The Fourth Heartbreak

Jeng's POV:

The news of Wonnie's death shattered my world into countless irreparable pieces. The words echoed in my mind like a haunting refrain I couldn't escape.

"He's gone."
"I'll never see him again."

I kept repeating it, hoping that saying it aloud would somehow make it less true. But my heart felt torn from my chest, leaving a gaping void filled with unbearable grief.

The thought that I would never see his smile again, never hear his laughter, was too much to bear. It was as if the sun had set forever, plunging my world into endless darkness.

I clung to every memory, replaying the moments we shared like lifelines.

"I miss him so much. I wish he was here by my side."

I regretted not telling him how deeply I loved him. Each memory comforted me and tore me apart at the same time. I wandered through the streets we once explored, feeling like a ghost trapped in a world that had lost its color.

"Jagi, look at how happy we were here."

I whispered to the empty air, tears streaming down my face. Every step felt heavy, weighed down by the harsh reality that he was truly gone.

Weeks passed and the initial shock faded, replaced by a hollow ache that refused to subside. Even though people around me cared, their words felt distant and meaningless.

"Why is this happening?"
"Why is life so unfair?"

I cried out in solitude, consumed by a feeling of abandonment. The vibrant life I had built with Wonnie was slipping further away under the weight of sorrow.

I longed for him to walk through the door, to hold me tight and tell me everything would be okay. But all I had were the echoes of his voice reminding me of what I had lost.

Grief wrapped around me like a suffocating shroud. At night, I lay awake staring at the ceiling, haunted by thoughts of him.

"How will I get through this?"

"It's too hard. I can't do this."

"Why, when I finally found someone who truly loved me, did he have to be taken away?"

"How do I accept that he's really gone?"

"How do I accept that I'll never hold him or kiss him again?"

I was lost in despair. The world kept moving, but I felt frozen in time—trapped in a moment I couldn't escape. Each sunrise was a cruel reminder that life goes on, even when I was falling apart inside.

"Hi, Jagi, how are you up there?"

I reached for my phone, only to remember my messages would never reach him. The silence was deafening, amplifying the emptiness he left behind.

Yet, amid the pain, I found some solace in the love we shared. It was bittersweet to realize that even in his absence, the impact he made on my life would remain etched forever in my heart.

Ae-cha was right, I thought, recalling her words.

"He loved you deeply."
"Wonnie loved you deeply."

That love, though painful, became my anchor. I had been lucky to experience something so real, even if it was heartbreakingly brief.

I knew the road ahead would be long and sorrowful, but I had to carry his memory with me—honoring the love we shared and the man he was.

In my heart, he would always be there, guiding me through the darkness.

The world felt unbearably empty without him, like someone had drained the colors from my life, leaving only a bleak gray canvas. I still remember the first time I met him—his adventurous spirit, his infectious laughter drawing me in like a moth to a flame.

With him, I discovered a love I never thought possible—a connection that felt destined, rare, and once in a lifetime. Our time together was brief, but it ignited a spark inside me I thought I'd lost: joy, passion, and the thrill of being truly seen and loved for who I was.

"I miss you so much, Wonnie. I wish this was just a dream... I hope it is."

In the months after his passing, his absence weighed heavily on me. I clung to every memory, replaying our moments together like a cherished film, longing for the laughter and quiet conversations that stretched into the night.

Wonnie taught me to take risks for love, to embrace life's uncertainties with open arms. His loyalty and sincerity were rare—a sharp contrast to my past heartbreaks. He believed in us, in our future. It crushed me to think I might never see him again.

"I love you so much. I hope I can be strong enough."

"I always failed in love but this is different. This is too much."

Then came the day the pain became too much to bear. Alone in a dark room, memories of Wonnie crashed over me like a tidal wave. In that moment, I realized that while I had known true love with him, my heart could not withstand the agony of living without him.

I closed my eyes, letting the memories wash over me one last time—feeling his warmth, his presence surrounding me. As I drifted away, I understood that love, no matter how brief, is worth every risk.

"Wonnie, thank you for your love. I will never forget the warmth of your love for me."

"I will never forget you calling me 'Jagi.'"

"I love you, Jagi."

"Guide me there in Cheonguk, okay?"

(Cheonguk means "heaven" in Korean.)

I still long for the love that left too soon—his laughter, his warmth, every little thing that made life feel complete. His memories fill the quiet spaces in my days.

He was here, then gone like a flickering light. Now, as I carry on, I miss him with a depth words cannot hold. He was my safe place, my joy, and though he is no longer beside me, his love lingers.

I hold it close, carrying it forward, trying to find peace in the life we left behind.

And in those final moments, I embraced the thought that maybe—just maybe—I would find him again on the other side, where our love could continue to grow beyond the bounds of this life.

Bittersweet.