WHEN LOVE FAILS

CHAPTER 8 - Love-struck

Jomi's POV:

I stood under the pouring rain, feeling the weight of my own confusion and regret. I had never intended to hurt Jeng, but the feelings I had for him had grown overwhelming.

Why did I keep pushing him away?

My heart felt heavy as I recalled the warmth of Jeng's laughter. It felt like a cruel twist of fate—the very person who brought me joy now stood before me, hurt and betrayed.

It's so hard, Jeng. It's really hard.

I whispered, knowing that despite my infatuation, I wasn’t in a place to return his love.

As I looked into his tear-filled eyes, I felt a pang of guilt.

"I love you, but I don’t even know what I want anymore."

I admitted, trying to convey the turmoil inside me. I remembered all the moments we shared—how he made even the mundane feel special.

"We had so many plans..."

I echoed Jeng’s words in my mind, wishing we could have chased those dreams together.

But the fear of commitment, and my inability to truly understand my own feelings, left me paralyzed. I could see the pain I was causing him, and it broke me even more.

"I’m really sorry."

I said softly, wishing there was another way to express my feelings without tearing his heart apart.

I pushed Jeng away gently, the weight of our shared memories pressing down on me.

"Don’t come back here again so you can forget me!"

I told him, hoping it would help both of us heal. In that moment, I realized infatuation was not enough to build something lasting—it needed clarity, commitment, and genuine love.

As I watched him walk away, whispering promises of forgetting everything, I felt a sharp ache in my chest.

"I love you, Jeng, but this is where it ends."

The reality of my feelings and the consequences of my actions washed over me like the rain, leaving me to grapple with the aftermath.

"I love you, but I need to find out what I really want. I’m sorry if I came into your life only to break your heart."

I whispered into the rain, knowing that my love for him was real—but my uncertainty was too heavy a burden to carry.

Our hearts, once intertwined with dreams and hopes, now felt like two distant stars—shining brightly, yet forever apart.

"Goodbye, my Chicago. Thank you for the core memories."

I added quietly as he disappeared from view. The memories of us washed over me like a flood: the laughter, his teasing that made me giggle uncontrollably, the calm comfort of silent moments together. Each memory felt like a dagger—reminding me of what I had lost.

As I turned away, the rain continued to pour, but inside, I felt an emptiness deeper than anything I had known. I had chosen to protect myself, but in doing so, I hurt someone who had done nothing but love me deeply.

The weight of regret settled like a stone in my chest.

I always thought love would be simple—but this… this was anything but simple.

I felt like a coward for not confronting my feelings head-on. I thought about how Jeng deserved someone who could love him without hesitation—someone who wouldn’t be afraid of loving back.

"It’s so hard, Jeng," I repeated to myself, wishing I could rewind time, take back the words that caused him so much pain.

The rain began to lighten, but my heart remained heavy. I couldn’t shake the feeling of impending loss, the understanding that I might never have the chance to make things right.

I had chosen my path—and now I had to walk it alone, haunted by the memory of what could have been.

I replayed our conversations in my mind, each one a painful reminder of our connection. I could still hear his voice—soft, hopeful—asking me what I wanted for our future. But every time I tried to answer, the words caught in my throat, tangled in fear and uncertainty.

Did I really fall out of love with him so quickly, despite everything he did for me? Was what I did right? Or was I just suffocated by his love-bombing?

The truth hit me. I had pushed him away, believing it was for the best. But deep down, I was terrified—terrified of being vulnerable, of being seen with all my flaws.

"I love you, Jeng, but I need to find myself first."

I admitted to myself, my heart aching with the realization.

As I made my way home, the streets glistened with rain—each puddle reflecting the sadness in my heart. It felt like I was walking through a dream—a beautiful, painful dream I didn’t want to end, but knew I had to wake up from.

I wished nothing more than to turn back time—to hold him close, to promise everything would be okay.

But I knew those promises would’ve been hollow, just like my resolve. I needed to find out who I was and what I truly wanted before I could hope to love anyone completely.

And in that moment of clarity, I understood: my journey was just beginning.

I had to confront my demons, learn how to love myself before I could love someone else. The weight of regret wouldn’t disappear overnight, but I hoped that someday, I could forgive myself for the choices I made.

The road ahead was daunting. But as the rain finally began to fade, I felt a flicker of hope—that maybe, just maybe, I could find my way back to myself again.

"Thank you for everything you did for me. I know you truly loved me."

As I sat alone, the silence was deafening. Jeng wouldn’t come back—I knew that in my bones. I had pushed him away, and now I was left with nothing but memories.

The weight of my regret settled heavily on my heart, a constant reminder that I had lost something beautiful… forever.