WHEN LOVE FAILS

CHAPTER 9 - The Third Heartbreak

Jeng's POV:

He fell first, but I fell harder.

I wasn’t looking for love when I let Jomi into my life; I thought he truly cared for me—maybe just at the beginning? I opened my heart, believing we could build something special together.

Maybe he really loved me, too? But he just couldn’t pursue me?

Maybe he just couldn’t choose me? Maybe he couldn’t take the risk because he was still too young for someone like me?

He only liked you, found you amusing, and you fell for him anyway.

I whispered to myself, wondering. But it hurt to see how quickly he gave up when things got tough.

His willingness to walk away shattered my expectations and left me feeling vulnerable. I had allowed myself to hope, only to be met with his retreat. Now, I find myself grappling with the painful realization that what I believed was real turned out to be fleeting.

It’s my fault I’m hurting too—because I still gave in to him, even when I knew from the start that it was wrong.

The weight of his departure lingers, reminding me that sometimes, love can be both a beautiful dream and a heartbreaking reality.

My heart felt like it was about to explode because I couldn’t understand why I let someone new into my life—after spending five years rebuilding myself—only to be completely shattered again.

I don’t even know how to start over.

I never expected that my relationship with Jomi would end like this. All his promises and sweet words full of love and hope gradually disappeared like smoke, leaving me to realize I had wasted five years of healing for him—for nothing.

He often said:

“I’m right here, Jeng. I won’t leave you.”

“I hope ten years from now, it’s still us.”

But now that I’m here, alone, all of that has fallen apart.

With every promise he made, I held on—believing he was different, that I had finally found the one who would be with me forever.

When I noticed him gradually pulling away, I tried to understand him, hoping the warmth of the love we once shared would return. But it seemed that those words and promises were only temporary.

I felt like I was drowning in the thoughts of:

“I’ll come back.”
“We’re just taking a break.”
“We’re going to be okay.”
“I promise, only you.”

But in the end, all I felt was pain and destruction. This was the third time my relationship had ended, and while carrying the memories and promises of Jomi, I learned that sometimes, no matter how painful, I need to let go of things others can’t fight for.

The following weeks were difficult. I still couldn’t move on from Jomi, but I didn’t want to keep bothering him. I didn’t want to look foolish in front of him.

I fell into a state of disappointment and pain, so I decided to create a fake boyfriend. It was my way of trying to move on from him—because I knew deep inside, I truly loved Jomi with all my heart.

“I have a new boyfriend. His name is Dan Angelo!”

I excitedly told my friends and family. Even on social media, I proudly showcased this.

“He is my Babu.”

I shared exaggerated stories about our “relationship,” forcing myself to show everyone that I was okay—that I had moved on. But deep inside, I still felt trapped in my feelings for Jomi.

Fck this heart! Damn that love! I thought he was the one!*

I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.

I’m only doing this because I want to forget Jomi quickly—because I really loved him.

I whispered to myself, sobbing until I fell asleep.

But as the days passed, I slowly realized that I needed to face my emotions and not hide behind a fake life.

I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay.

I told myself, deciding to reflect on my relationship with Jomi.

I need to be honest with myself and with the people around me.

I knew this journey would be painful, but I was ready to be strong.

———

Gradually, I learned to embrace the pain and allow myself to grieve properly. I accepted the truth: that true love and lasting happiness would only come when I faced my heart with honesty.

I also realized he was still too young for me, which may be why he expressed his love the way he did. The love that started so quickly also faded just as fast.

I walked past a stranger today, but it felt strange. I knew his name, his birthdate, his laugh, his favorite color, his family, his hobbies—I even knew his nickname. And yet, he was just a stranger now.

Five months passed, and unexpectedly, I ran into Jomi on the street. Finally, I felt no trace of pain—it had completely vanished.

In that moment of seeing him, I realized he no longer existed in my life, and I had fully moved on from the pain he once caused me. I had returned to a time when I didn’t know him.

From “I care a lot” to “I don’t care anymore.”

I’m happy now—and I’m happy for him too. I no longer hold a grudge.

The memories that once haunted me had faded into a blur, replaced by the clarity of my newfound happiness. I had learned to embrace my worth, finding joy in the little things life had to offer.

Seeing him brought no bitterness, only a quiet acceptance. I smiled, genuinely happy for him, knowing he was on his own path. I no longer held a grudge; instead, I felt grateful for the lessons learned through our time together.

It was liberating to realize I had returned to a time before I knew him—a time filled with possibilities and hope. I had rediscovered myself, and that was enough. As I walked away, I knew I could face the future without the weight of the past.

Life was beautiful again.

Once upon a time, you had me and I had you.

I whispered to myself.

I could finally breathe freely, unburdened by the shadows of our shared history. Each step I took felt lighter, like shedding a heavy coat I had worn for far too long.

In that moment of clarity, I understood that healing wasn’t just about forgetting; it was about growth and acceptance. I had turned pain into strength, allowing it to guide me rather than define me.

Thank you—for the love, and for the pain.

As I glanced back one last time, I whispered a silent farewell, grateful for everything he had taught me. The future was calling, and I was ready to embrace it with open arms—knowing that true happiness begins with loving myself first.

I’m ready again.

Moving on was a journey of self-discovery. I learned to embrace my emotions, allowing myself to heal. Each step forward lightened the weight of the past, transforming pain into strength. I discovered the beauty of new beginnings and opened my heart to love again—ready to create a brighter future.