Chapter 17: Red Strings

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The car had long come to stop when I woke up. Amelia on her phone, occassional glances passed all round the clock.
I sit up straight, wiping drool off the corner of my lips.

"Oh you're up. Alex's been waiting for you to visit him."

It always felt empty when I visited Alex. Not because I was the only person in the cemetery, but because his body wasn't whole. Never could I ever feel his usual presence in there. Not even a spiritual one.

Regardless, I never doubted his existence. He's always kept quiet whenever I needed to talk.
I walk up to him, second row, third stone from the right.

Here lies the shine of our eyes, the little man of our house. If given the chance he would change the world for the better with his smile. He will always be missed, a handsome son.
Alex Winston 1998 - forever in our hearts.

I kneel down next to him,

"Hey Alex, sorry for not visiting for a while. It's been a crazy month, and guess what? I didn't know it was a month."
I speedrun through the entire experience for him, not wanting to waste any of his time, doing...nothing, per se.

I tell him all about Logan and how everything about him has been confusing.
And like always, he patiently listens. No questions asked.
The atmosphere of the place just felt free.
A place where I could share anything without being judged by anyone. Not anyone alive, at least.

Especially after everything that has happened with me, I feel like that is exactly what I need. An environment where I have the liberty to be set free, even when I'm not.

"I know you've always wanted to see me with a diploma. Here we are! I'm graduating in two days!
I hope you and the other old flakey people swimming in the clouds with you will visit me.
Not in the creepy way, please."

I hear a soft sound. I could bet fifty bucks Alex chuckled.

"It's definitely not the same without you, I even wore your favourite colour so that you'd pat my head. Guess you don't admire me now that I've got a sense of humor." I sigh, disappointed.

"I miss you big brother."

"I miss you too" I'm guessing he said that.

I stand up before tears make their way down my face.
A car honks in front of me, making its' presence known.

"See, I've got people to pick me up now. I'm the shit. Bye." I leave a flower I picked up on my way here and walk outside.

I seat myself and rest my head on the warm window. Everything around me was bright. Busy people walking around the street, some running with coffee, others checking their watches while dodging fast moving cars.
And me. Waiting for the day to pass to go back to school.

You always hate the school year till the last few days, when you realize that your constant wishing that annoying people would leave actually came true.

Except that you sort of started liking them, the constant bickering in the corner of the class became the background music to your movie after a while, and you don't even feel like complaining.
When you realize that you actually won't see these faces every morning, the faces and people you've spent so much time with, won't actually stick around for that long.

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