But Home is Nowhere

Chapter 12- Part 1

It had been a full week since "the incident" as you referred to it in your mind. You hadn't really seen nor spoken to Ruhn as he slept separately from you. The only time you had seen each other was when he was gathering up a few changes of clothes from your shared dresser into the room he was staying in. You honestly didn't know how long this separation was going to last, and you weren't sure how much longer you could safely use the tonic to help with your sleep. And truthfully, you missed him.

The tonic continued to help for the most part. There were no real nightmares to speak of, but your sleep certainly wasn't dreamless any longer. In fact, your dreams were starting to become a bit too strange and realistic for your liking. Not that they hadn't ever been that way before. You always had intense dreams, but they were few and far between. Past events seemed so real that there were a few you genuinely couldn't distinguish from your actual memories. The only way you had was by asking the people directly involved. With the tonic however, these dreams were now becoming a nightly occurrence.

Of course, the unusual nature of your dreams started to occupy your waking thoughts as well. Even now, as you sat on an outside patio of a restaurant near the Rainbow with Nyx and Azriel, your mind was focused on the dream you had last night; children playing in a field of flowers. You remember chasing them, their laughter making you feel light and fully at ease. Your heart was full of love for these children. Your children. As the dream played out the features on each face had been so stark and clear. Now that you were awake, everything was hazy and fluctuated. You couldn't remember genders, or hair color, or eye color. You huffed as the images danced further and further away.

"(Y/N?)" Azriel gently called, pulling your attention back to the present. You blinked your eyes a few times, trying to regain focus on the topic at hand. The Illyrian had yet again crashed your outing with Nyx as you were on your way to visit his mother in her studio. Nyx had begged you to take him so that he could show her his own drawing that he had been working on the past two days. From the corner of your eye you saw Nyx peek up from coloring at the table. Azriel's hand rested on your shoulder, the smallest hint of concern etched in his features.

"Your order, Miss?" A petite female, with skin, eyes, and hair all the same shade of snowy white, asked. You couldn't recall if you had ever seen her at this particular restaurant before. You assumed not as you were certain you would have remembered the stark brightness of her being, and the strange shape of her hands. The fingers in particular were long and spindly, tapering down into points. No sign of any nails or claws, just the fingers themselves. You mildly wondered how she could do anything with hands shaped like that. Azriel's hand squeezed your shoulder, bringing you back yet again.

"Oh, sorry," You apologized and took a moment to glance at the familiar menu in front of you, not really taking in any of the items listed. You always got the same thing. You provided her with your order, Azriel doing the same. His thumb gently rubbed against the sliver of exposed skin of your collar bone before returning his hand to rest on the tabletop. There was something about the way it was positioned, almost resting in your space rather than his own. You wondered if the male noticed how the female's eyes darted between the two of you and then to Nyx. Perhaps she was able to sense that the feel of his hand on you no longer set off alarm bells of panic.

"And what would you like little one?" The female asked, turning to look at Nyx. Her smile brightened at his serious expression.

"Chocolate cake," He tried his best to give a confident response, but his bright blue orbs gave him away as he sought out permission from you.

"How about you pick between the chicken or the pasta and then you can have the chocolate cake?" You offered instead. He jutted out his lower lip in a pout.