But Home is Nowhere

Bonus Chapter

While standing near the railing waiting for Rhysand's return, Feyre tried not to show that she was listening in on the conversation between Nesta and Bryce. The two spoke in hushed whispers, but the conversation was loud enough to attract the attention of Mor and Amren who stood nearby. From what Feyre could gather, the two females were placing bets on (Y/N)'s relationships. Feyre smiled at her eldest sister's enthusiasm even though the topic at hand didn't entirely sit right with her. She noted that she would have to pay more attention to this little drama that seemed to be unfolding between (Y/N), Lucien, and Ruhn.

"I'll take that bet, girl," Amren stated, joining their conversation. "However, I think there is a third contender. 50 gold marks that Azriel steals her heart." The petite female's smile was wicked. Bryce and Nesta broke out into hysterical laughter while Morrigan looked a bit skeptical. She was the only one that hadn't expressed her direct opinion on the matter. Feyre also tried to suppress her surprise at the suggestion. It had never even occurred to Feyre that either Azriel or (Y/N) would hold romantic interest in each other. From what she could tell the two barely stopped walking on eggshells around each other.

"Someone's unrealistically confident," Bryce stated. "I don't see how there could be any other option for her given the fact that she's been sleeping with my brother for over a year."

"Yes, but they both insist that it's not sexual," Nesta countered. "I think her feelings for Lucien have something to do with that." Feyre felt a slight pang of guilt at her sister's statement. She was fully aware of her mate's actions in keeping the two friends separated and the toll that that took on each of them. Anyone could see that Lucien cared for the woman deeply, and Feyre didn't miss how his eyes found their way over to her more than his own mate throughout the evening.

"What feelings!?" Bryce exclaimed before she and Nesta resumed the friendly bickering that started the conversation in the first place.

"Mor are you in on the bet?" Bryce asked. Feyre felt Rhys land next to her, and before he could even move she shushed him so that she could continue to hear the conversation. Surly Mor would have some insight that would put this betting to rest.

"I have my thoughts...there's a lot more going on than we can see. But everything really depends on which male can get his shit together first," She took another sip of her wine. "And one of them better do it soon, her life is much too short for them to drag their feet." The group immediately became somber at her words. Even Feyre was struck by the harsh reality.

"I keep forgetting that she's mortal." Feyre's voice slipped into Rhysand's mind. He hummed in contemplation and held his hand out for her to take. Of course she obliged, and she followed her mate as he led her onto the dance floor. Feyre spotted (Y/N), who had been blissfully oblivious of the conversation her friends held behind her back as she danced with Ruhn. She couldn't help but agree with Elain; the two were cute together, yet she couldn't shake the feeling that her sister had held something back. Rhysand's gaze followed hers.

"I would assume she has a good 50 to 60 more years to live, maybe a few extra if she is lucky. Regardless of who she chooses, they will all experience the pain of having to watch her grow old and die, while they remain frozen in time." His response was cold and distant. "Nyx will have to experience this as well." Feyre's eyes filled with sadness, a late realization of the impact the human's presence would have on her child. Or maybe it was more accurate to state that she willfully didn't want to recognize that (Y/N) was mortal.

Nyx adored her, and she was good to him, almost like a second mother. So what would be more cruel for Nyx to have to endure? (Y/N)'s departure if-when- she finds a way home? Or to witness her passing if she were to remain in their world? What would even keep her in Prythian? If she decided to settle down with Ruhn, the pair would very likely return to his world, which they all knew was more similar to her own. But if those looks that Lucien sent her way were anything to go by...what kind of life would she have here with him? Her friend had already witnessed the death of a lover, and despite their strained friendship Feyre didn't want to see Lucien experience that type of loss again. Perhaps the loss would be less painful if her memory wasn't the only thing left behind.

"What if she has any children?" Feyre asked, resting her head against his chest. "Surely that could ease any pain of her passing. Not only for the potential father, but for Nyx as well." They gently swayed to the music that swelled around them.

"Sadly, children may make the loss more profound. Half-breeds with humans in our world are extremely rare, Feyre." His voice was meant to sooth, but felt more like an admonishment. "Unlike those from Midgard, we have no way of knowing what their life expectancy could be. It is entirely possible that the children would pass before the father would. Burying one's children and their mother is not something I'd wish on anyone." Again, the High Lord appeared detached with his answer. His gaze far away despite looking at his mate.

"Neither do I." Feyre admitted looking up at him. Feyre was all too familiar with that type of pain. And while she was fortunate enough that her mate's death was short lived, (Y/N)'s death would be permanent.

"That's why I had Mor obtain a contraceptive tonic for her." Feyre stumbled at his words.

"You did what?" She wasn't certain that she heard right.

"She's been taking a daily contraceptive-"

"Please tell me that she agreed to that choice, Rhys." He remained silent. Feyre took a step back, appalled at her mate's apparent lack of remorse. The song came to an end, and she made her way off the dance floor towards the outer edge of the terrace. After several beats Feyre managed to reel in her emotions.

"If you are so hell bent on dictating her life then she needs to go home, Rhys. You need to let her leave the court so she can find her way." Rhysand had followed her, and brushed a strand of hair back from her face. He audibly sighed, looking over his shoulder to see the human begin a dance with Azriel.

"I'm not certain that there is a way home for her," He finally answered. "I think that whatever or whomever brought her here intended it to be a one-way trip."

"That's not a good enough answer. If there is some grand plan, what makes you think that she needs to be kept here?" Feyre gripped the railing surrounding the terrace. The night had taken a sour turn.

"She was practically dropped at our doorstep," He tried to reason, "That cannot be a coincidence. The reason will reveal itself in time, until then I am hesitant in letting her leave the Night Court."

"What if there is no reason? What will you do when you realize that you can't use her?" Feyre knew that her mate still suspected (Y/N) held some type of power, no matter how many times she was tested by those in their Inner Circle.

"If the Mother has nothing planned for her then she has two options. She can either travel to Midgard with the others once it's safe, or she can live in the mortal lands." Feyre flashed him a disdainful expression. "In order to protect those we care about from the loss, I believe the Southern Continent would be best for her. We can see to it that she lives a comfortable life for the remainder of her days." She scoffed at his solution.

"Don't pretend you suddenly care enough for her to be comfortable, Rhys." She seethed, crossing her arms.

"I'm hurt that you believe I have any ill will towards her, Feyre Darling," He placed his hand over his heart.

"If sending her away is your only solution for when she is no longer useful, then I for one hope that the Mother has different plans for her." Feyre turned on her heel, storming off towards her eldest sister.