Bottle Me Up (Dabi x OC) {[tw]}

Chapter 20: I'm Not A Saint, But I Could Be If I Tried

⚠️ warning ⚠️: murder

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I didn't go far, just to the alleyway down the street. I needed to get out of there. Nothing had prepared me for this. Nothing could prepare me for this. I had thought I locked the real me away and thrown away the key but she had broken those titanium bars like they were nothing. And due to my second quirk reawakening, the urge to kill hit me like a brick.

You see, the doctor had left out some crucial information when he had told me about my quirks. My pain quirk doesn't only give people unadulterated pain but it makes me insane. I don't think critically. I make decisions many people wouldn't make. I'm selfish.

I'm not human.

At least, I don't feel human.

"Ey! You got a cigarette?"

The voice came from in front of me, and due to the alley being dark and my eyesight not adjusted yet, I almost jumped out of my skin.

I blinked a few times and the lights from the street began to show more as my eyes adjusted. In front of me stood a man, his blond hair looked like straw from the amount of grease in it. He was missing many of his teeth and smelled like shit.

"No, I don't have one." I shook my head, trying — and failing — to hold my breath from his unfortunate smell.

Who lets themselves smell like that? Even I found a way to shower when I was homeless. Breaking into luxury houses and using fancy showers were my go-to back then.

"Ah, c'mon, pretty lady. You can't spot a guy in need?" He took a step closer to me as his eyes widened manically and I took a step back.

I could see sores on his face. His eyes were yellow and frantic as he looked at me. I wish I had a pack of cigarettes just so he would leave me alone because I knew what he was going through. He was going through withdrawal was homeless and had nothing. I was there before.

But I don't want to go back.

"I'm sorry, I don't have anything." I reached for my gun in the back of my pants but internally cursed when I didn't feel it there. I must have left it in my bag in the diner. I did have a pen from Inari's in my back pocket.

"You fucking bitch! You lying to me!?"

I gasped when he lurched towards me, eyes wide and hands curled into claws.

I don't think at that moment, I just react.

I felt the pen penetrating his neck before I saw the blood between my fingers

I saw the blood gurgle out of his mouth, down his chin and neck.

Oh, no.

"I will fucking kill you!"

My scream got stuck in my throat when I pulled the pen out and stabbed it through his eye. The man screamed through his gurgling, his hands clawing at my forearm. He lost his footing and fell to his knees, his one eye looking at me like I was a monster.

Oh, you have no clue how much of a monster I am.

Blood sprayed when I pulled the pen out of his eye. My jaw dropped in awe as the blood gushed down his face. My heart was pounding in my chest with so much adrenaline that I couldn't help the hysterical laugh that began to bubble up.

The sight of it was beautiful.

I couldn't help myself.

I kept stabbing him.

And stabbing.

And stabbing.

And stabbing.

And stabbing...

The blood fascinated me. Soaking into the tips of my hair, covering my arms up to my forearms and face. I wanted to see how far I could go and with each stab, the old Kazemi broke through. The smell of the blood made me feel like I was finally in control. I was finally me again.

It is euphoria.

I feel like a god.

It was almost trance-like.

"Kazemi."

Everything stopped when I looked up to see Dabi holding a ball of blue flame looking at me like I would hurt him if he moved an inch from where he stood. He was so tense.

I froze with the pen mid-stab in the air as I realized my surroundings. I was still in the alleyway. However,  now I was on top of an unrecognizable corpse. His face had been completely disfigured by the pen in my right hand.  My heart was pounding in my ears, making them ring, and the adrenaline rush began to make me tremble. My stomach dropped at the amount of blood soaking into the ground and my clothes.

I had just killed a homeless man.

The scream I had been holding finally bubbled up and I let it go.

But it was stopped by Dabi covering my mouth, his eyes wide in fear.

"Kazemi! Shut up!" Dabi sneered. "You'll give us away!"

I whimpered behind his hands which had to be covered in blood now. So were his jeans because he was kneeling in it.

I don't know why he was worried about us getting caught when he didn't kill anybody. I did. He should just get out of here.

"Oh shit. Kazemi?" I looked over Dabi's shoulder to see Toga and his little brother Shoto.

Immediately guilt bloomed in my chest at the look on Shoto's face. I couldn't read it due to him being so emotionless, but I didn't miss the disgust that flashed in his eyes when he looked at me. I had just met him and this was his first impression of me: a cold-blooded killer.

"Toga, bring the van around. We need to get Kazemi out of here." Dabi ordered.

"OKK!" Toga giggled at the man I had mutilated before skipping out of the opposite end of the alley.

"Come here," Dabi told me softly after he took his hands off my mouth. He pried the bloodied pen from my fingers. Dabi wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the body. He kept walking me backwards until I felt cold brick touch my back. And stayed there. He only wrapped his arms around me tighter.

"Dabi—" I started, my voice scratchy.

His warmth surrounded me, calming my racing heart.

"Don't say anything," Dabi interjected. "Let's get you out of here and we can worry about it later."

Tears came rolling down my face, mixing with the blood, before I could stop them. I buried my face in Dabi's chest.

I wasn't crying because I killed someone.

I was crying because I wanted to do it again.

I didn't want to stop.