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Lola sat stiffly in the velvet chair, watching Elowen turn in front of the full-length mirror, examining herself in a succession of dresses that ranged from elaborate to austere. Lola thought that Elowen looked beautiful in all of the dresses, although she had to admit that some of them did like a bit too Little House on the Prairie. As Elowen held out the skirt of a new dress, beaming at Lola with an expression of both delight and indecision, Lola felt a swell of emotion that almost made her forget her irritation, her awareness of Alex, who stood just to her right, leaning against the wall with his arms folded.
Since the engagement, the world had become a rotating stage of wedding-related tasks, each scene pulling them together (Alex as best man and Lola as maid of honour), and each adding to the unbearable tension that seemed to bloom whenever she and Alex were in the same room. Alex's eyes were on Elowen in the mirror were blank and somewhat bored, but occasionally, Lola caught his reflection flickering to her, an intensity in his gaze she had learned to ignore. In fact, she noticed his gaze on her much more than the person actually trying on wedding dresses.
"What do you think?" Elowen asked, smoothing the lace over her hips. "Is this the one?"
"It's beautiful," Lola replied, voice warm, willing herself to ignore the echo of Alex's breathing beside her. Could he breathe any louder?
For a moment, she could almost imagine it was only her and Elowen, the two of them in a bubble, isolated from everything complicated and painful in the world. Elowen caught her eye in the mirror, searching for affirmation, and Lola grinned, nodding emphatically. They both knew this dress wasn't "the one," but the ritual of the question, the shared moment, was enough to make Lola feel some sense of peace.
"Nice," Alex murmured absently, his tone flat. His disinterest seemed to reach Elowen, who didn't push him for further opinion, only offered a half-smile before disappearing back into the dressing room. Lola and Alex were left alone, and she could feel him shift beside her, as though he had something to say, but thankfully, he kept silent.
The following days unfolded with a steady rhythm of wedding planning, each errand another setting for Alex and Lola to be uncomfortably close, pretending they didn't feel the weight of what lay between them. Flowers, then cake tasting, then seating charts—each task was a gauntlet that felt harder than the last, each requiring her to spend incredibly periods with him (which surely didn't need to be as long as they were) and to act as though he wasn't the one person she couldn't stand to be near and the one person she had never truly been able to let go of.
One morning, they met Elowen and Miles at a flower shop, a small but fragrant place with walls lined with roses, dahlias, lilies, and wild greenery. Elowen floated between bouquets, lifting arrangements, inhaling each scent as though it were an Olbas inhaler and she had a cold worse than the Black Death. Lola stayed close, feeling her friend's excitement but also trying to avoid the space where Alex stood on her periphery.
