The Life of Justice Jay

It's not You... It's Me

I spent the whole night in my room laying on my bed and cuddling my pillow while bawling my eyes out. I just questioned everything. I mean seriously, he was so convincing. He wrote me an amazing letter telling me how much he loved me, and how he wanted to be with me forever. Then the countless presents and surprises. This just came out of no where. How can I trust him anymore?

Hallie stayed the night with me because she knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it without her there with me. While I cried there in my bed, she laid next to me and was running her fingers through her hair and every now and then handing me a new tissue. She comforted me when I needed her throughout the night. I would go on irrational thoughts and she helped guide me back to reality.

We stayed in our pjs in my room while I was still crying my eyes out until about 11:30 when Tom finally came upstairs to get us. He walked over to the side of my bed and sat down. "Wow, you look awful." He pulled me up onto his lap and let me just cry in his arms. I laid on his chest and bawled my eyes out.

He just sat there hugging me in his lap. "Jay, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I really don't think he meant to do that though, to be honest."

"Tom, I don't even care. He still did it."

"Well, he's down stairs now waiting for you. Are you ready to come out?"

I huffed out a big gasp of air. " I guess."

He picked me up and set my on the floor. He grabbed Hallie's hand as we walked down stairs. I saw Jake waiting at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me to come out. Once I was at the bottom of the stairs I said, "Hey." I had been crying so hard that just saying that made me huff a whole ton, and I felt like my eyes were so puffed up they were going to explode.

He immediately turned around when he heard my voice and wrapped his arms around me. I only let him do that for about five seconds when I pushed him off of me and walked into the kitchen. "I can't do this right now, Jake."

I started crying again, and I was surprised that I even had any tears left.

"Jay, come on beautiful. Can't we talk about this, please?" He said following me into the kitchen.

I poured Hallie and I a glass of orange juice. "I don't know, what is there to talk about? You cheated on me... with your freaking EX!"

He defensively answered, "I did not cheat Jay! You have to understand that. She kissed me! I didn't intentionally kiss her. You've got this all wrong. Please Jay, you have to forgive me. I had no intentions on kissing her, and I wanted so bad for you to win Homecoming Queen."

"Oh thanks. Why don't you just tell me everything I'm doing wrong with my life also! Do you think I wanted to not be made Queen?"

"No, Jay! Seriously, I didn't mean it like that." He followed me to the table and sat down. "I got us some Chinese food for lunch, hold on one sec, I'll go get it."

He ran out to his car and grabbed the bags of food. When he came in Tom and Hallie were waiting at the table with me. He walked in and saw me whispering with Hal. I hurried and shooshed her to be quiet when he walked in. He set the food on the table.

"Oh come on Jay, now you're keeping things from me?"

"Why do I owe you anything?"

I could tell he was hurt. I could see it in his eyes. I knew he loved me, but didn't trust him anymore. He sat down on the chair next to me and started pulling Chinese cartons out of the paper sack.

"I got your favorite. Eggs rolls, chicken and fried rice." He handed me a few boxes and some chop sticks."

Tom got up to get us some plates as well as forks and spoons. I started eating not even acknowledging Jake.