J A C K I E💘
We just got back to Arizona. Instead of flying, we just drove. Which wasn't the best last minute change idea because she was shaking and shi.
I feel bad for her. Me only having my mama growing up, I know that shi gone eat me alive.
"baby you okay?" I asked holding her hand while she pulled into the parking lot of the hospital.
"nope. Not even gone lie." She said with weakness in her voice.
"I'm here for you. That's why I came, I love you and I wanna be here for you. And I don't want you to be scared or cry in front of me." I said expressing that.
"I'm not gonna cry." She said unbuckling her seat key and getting out.
Even though she's hurting and trying to hide it, she still came and opened the door for me.
"Thanks baby." I said grabbing her hand again.
We walked in asking the lady at the front desk for directions and answer and stuff. She was kind of rude too.
"thanks I guess." I said as we walked away. This ain't the time or place for somebody to have an attitude.
We went up the stairs and then we took the elevator cause I wasn't about to walk up two flights of stores.
The closer we get to seeing her mother the way we're going to see her, the more scared I get. I know she's saying she's not going to cry but deep down, she's goin to cry.
We walked into the waiting room first seeing everybody, her brother, her niece, her sister in law, and her dad.
Those were the main ones, there were other people too though. Not a lot of people she talk to.
"how she look?" I heard her ask her brother while picking up her niece.
"pale." He said.
She shook her head and started rocking back and forth.
"it sounds like you telling me she already dead." She said looking at him.
"she is already dead, there's no life left in her the ventilator is what's alive, she, is not." He said being straight up.
C A M E R O N🖤
I just felt an outburst come over me. I don't know whether I want to be mad or sad. Why did he wait this long to tell me.
I walked myself to the bathroom to gather myself before Jackie came because I knew she was coming.
"baby you good?" She asked me easing into the door.
"mhm." I said moving my locs out my face.
She fixed me up a little and then we walked out the bathroom.
"I guess this is the part where I go see my birth giver huh?" I said walking to the door.
"I guess it is, but if you know, it's harder than you expected and you're just not ready yet, then don't do that to yourself." Jackie said grabbing my hand.
"I'm ready, and if im not, I'm forcing myself to be ready. Cause truth be told I'm never really gone be ready, I'll just be there." She said twisting that mf NOB. (my bad yall, yk that tiktok☠️.)
J A C K I E💘
Walking into that room, it did not seem like the same lady I met just a week or two ago. I'm shooketh. The toll the way she look alone took on Cameron, I can't.
"d*mn ma." She said grabbing her mother's hand which I'm pretty sure was cold.
The way I'm a crybaby, I had to gone get tf up outta lulu (myb, another tiktok☠️.) I walked to the waiting room.
