Complicated // h.s.

nineteen

*Sawyer's POV*

Harry dropped my off late Sunday night. I was actually glad to be back on campus because I had less of a guilty feeling now that I was away from him. I wasn't comfortable keeping it from him, but I had to tell him or it was going to start eating away at me.

I walked into my dorm room where Cara was on her computer as she sat on her bed. I threw my things down on my bed and then sat on the edge of it. I plugged in my phone for the lack of battery and then I laid back.

"How was your weekend?" Cara asked once I settled down.

"Fine. I feel awful though." I explained to her.

Cara looked over at me. I needed to confess to someone what I had done. I had to. It was eating away at me.

"I cheated that night of the party." I told her.

She looked at me in disbelief as if I never cheated on someone before.

"Define cheated, Sawyer." Cara stated.

I looked down at the bed and then back at her.

"I slept with Keeton. It was an accident and I was a little drunk, but it's no excuse. I shouldn't have left with him anyway." I confessed.

Cara cleared her throat and then closed her laptop.

"Sawyer that was sex waiting to happen. You brought this upon yourself when you could have easily avoided cheating on Harry. Did you tell him?" Cara asked.

I looked at her as if she was stupid. Of course I didn't tell him.

"No, Cara. I didn't and I feel awful because I never wanted this happen. I... I think I... never mind." I stammered out.

I didn't love him. I couldn't. We only knew each other for almost four months.

"You love him?" Cara asked. "You love him, don't you?"

I was silent.

"The only person that I have ever loved, except for Dale, was myself. I can't love him. I can't." I said almost in disbelief.

Stop, Sawyer. Get a grip. My conscious nagged.

"You loved Louis." Cara pointed out.

I rolled my eyes at the mention of his name. I was almost disgusted that she would even say that I loved him.

"I would never love a man who hit me. I didn't love him." I spoke honestly.

I came to terms with the fact that I didn't love Louis. We were together in the first place because Dale but us together, and he had no idea how abusive Louis could be.

"But you love Harry." Cara insisted at this point.

I slowly nodded my head taking it all in. I couldn't tell Harry that just yet though. I didn't know if he felt the same way. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to feel the same way.

"I do. I love Harry." I felt the words fall out my mouth like a sweet scent. It felt foreign coming out of my mouth, but it has a nice, sweet taste to it.

+

"Your boyfriend is cute." I heard Keeton's voice say behind me.

I turned around to see him beginning to jog up to me. I smiled at his remark. I knew he was going to joke around about him especially since we slept together.

"You're such an ass." I rolled my eyes.

He laughed as he put his arm on my shoulder.

"Did you tell your little boyfriend about our little fun?" Keeton asked me with a devilish smirk.