Complicated // h.s.

twenty-eight

*Eight months later*

*Sawyer's POV*

I has been tougher than I thought with taking care of Keeton especially considering that I had to balance school, a newborn, and him. He would try to do the best that he could. He was currently home and sitting outside staring at the sky as the sun was setting. He wasn't much of a fan of staying indoors now. I guess it was because he had been cooped up into a hospital room for far too long now that he wants to spend every chance he had outside.

We found a house along the beach because that's what Keeton wanted. He kept saying how he wanted to die while on the beach instead of that an antiseptic hospital so my mother as a wedding gift, brought us a beach house in Orange County that was near the hospital he was currently getting treated at.

He held our daughter, Kinsley as much as he could. She would always smile every time she saw him. He gave her a tired smile back and then she would stop crying and settle down.

Kinsley was currently sleeping. I made sure that I took the baby monitor with me as I slipped outside on the patio so that I could be with Keeton. He was sitting in a lawn chair with a blanket draped over his lap. He wore a beanie over his head to hide his now bald head. He completely ignored me as I sat down. He just stared at the ocean without a care in the world and I watched him as he continued to admire it.

"You haven't spoken much today." I was the first one to break the silence.

He hummed and never took his gaze off of the ocean.

"There isn't much to speak about." Keeton said softly.

I nodded my head. I was still trying to figure out what was so interesting about the ocean today of all days. He never stared at it for this long.

"How are you feeling, babe?" I asked him.

He would never tell me how he was feeling voluntarily. I would have to ask him and he would still be brief about it.

"Sick." He mumbled. "I'm tired of being sick."

I frowned at his words. I was tired of him being sick. He had been sick for too long. Absolutely nothing was improving. The cancer spread to his thyroid, but the mets shrunk slightly on his lungs. I wish there was something that I could do for him, but there wasn't. I just had to support him.

"I'm thinking about Kinsley... and how I won't see her grow up or see her smile or walk her down the aisle or see her even graduate kindergarten." He thought aloud.

I exhaled deeply and grabbed his hand. I caressed it with my thumb with tears trying to fight their way through.

"You will. Stop thinking that you are going to die." I said feeling my heart break.

He rolled his eyes and stared into my eyes with a harsh glare.

"I'm not getting better, Sawyer." He practically yelled. "Stop fucking thinking that I'm going to magically get better. The cancer isn't fucking gone. It's still there. It is growing. You aren't listening at all. You are in a dream land filled with false hope."

I sucked in a breath at his harsh words.

"You aren't going to leave me with a child to raise on my own." I said through gritted teeth.

We stared at each other with such intensity.

"That's what you fucking signed up for." He roared. "You wanted this. I told you that you could have left if you wanted to but you are so fucking stubborn and you wanted to marry me instead. The funny thing is that you don't even love me."