Complicated // h.s.

thirty-one

*Harry's POV*

I unlocked my front door and Ava quickly rushed to me with a look of stress but excitement. I rolled my eyes because it was probably going to be her saying something about what happened during her day.

"Harry, I need to explain something to you." Ava greeted.

"Not now, Ava. I'm hungry and I just want a nice glass of wine." I said as I walked passed her.

She kept trying to get me to come back to her, but I refused as I continued to walk into the kitchen. Once I saw who was standing there. Once I saw her standing there, I knew I should have listened.

I stared at her not really sure if what I was seeing was real. She couldn't have been in my apartment after all of this time.

"Hi." She spoke first with her voice cracking.

I was silent for a good minute before responding. There was so much tension in the room that you couldn't cut it with a chainsaw.

"Hey." I managed to say.

I walked further into the kitchen until I was standing at least two feet from her. I longed to stand even closer, but I knew that if I did, I would crumble to her feet.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her in disbelief.

I watched her. I stared at her face for any emotion or to read her and it was nearly impossible because she wouldn't look into my eyes.

"I moved back to L.A. I'm opening an office out here... and I live two doors down." She explained.

I inhaled and exhaled trying to figure out what to say.

"No, I mean, what are you doing here? It's been four years, Sawyer." I finally spoke.

"I wanted to see you." She said ever so softly. "You... you look good."

I nodded my head. I had so much to say to her but I couldn't figure out how to say it. I didn't know if I wanted to be cold or nice to her. I didn't know what I was supposed to do.

"What am I supposed to say to you?" I asked her genuinely wanting to know the answer.

She just shrugged.

"You can't even look me in the eye, Sawyer." I mumbled to her.

She looked so broken and defeated. I have never seen her like this before. I didn't know if I enjoyed seeing her like this or hated it.

"If I do, I'll fall apart." She said as she stared at the wall behind me.

Her eyes were becoming glassy from tears. I only saw her cry once and it nearly broke me then even if I was being bitter.

"I have been trying to figure out what I was going to say to you every single day for four years and I still can't figure it out." I explained to her. "I can't figure out how to talk to you. I can't figure anything out that involves you."

It was silent for a while. A tear fell down her face and she looked down before finally making eye contact with me.

"Do you still love me?" Sawyer asked me.

I was taken aback by her question. I wasn't really surprised by how forward she was being because she was always forward with me.

"I can't answer that." I shook my head. "I can't."

She looked away from me once again. I was still trying to figure out what to say to her.

"I... I, um... tomorrow... we could do dinner or something so that we have time to recuperate after all of this because right now I need time to think and drink. I think I really need a drink." I spoke.