Artifice

Lonely Road

The next day, Izuku didn't come out of his room. It should be expected since he went out and socialized for the first time in a while.

He needed a breather. A lot has happened recently, and he just needed time to himself.

He enjoyed the silence. At least he enjoyed the small pause between his nagging thoughts.

Toga and Dabi didn't bother him. They didn't want to push their luck. They'd rather take this one step at a time over dragging him beyond his comfort zone and possibly losing the little progress they made.

Izuku laid in his bed as he played with settings on his phone. He had nothing to do.

He was torn. He wanted to talk to someone about anything really, but he also valued the silence. The silence made him happy. A joy he didn't know he could enjoy from such a normal thing.

His finger wandered to his messages, and he clicked on Dabi's contact.

'Could you come here for a sec?'

Within seconds of him sending it, Dabi walked in.

Was he hoping I'd ask for him?

"What'cha need, kid?" Dabi said as he sat down at the end of the bed.

The old frame creaked at the additional weight.

Before a second thought, Izuku sprang at him and hugged him tight.

He clung to the older male like a lifeline. He took fistfuls of Dabi's shirt in his hands and shut his eyes tightly.

With Dabi there, he just felt so much better. He felt like he could let everything out, and Dabi could fix it. Of course, he knew that he couldn't fix everything, but the thought made him infinitly calmer.

"Woah. You alright?" Dabi tensed a bit at the sudden contact. He wasn't very fond of hugs, but he'd put up with it for the kid. He had quite a soft spot for him.

Izuku took a shaky breath, feeling Dabi's comforting warmth as he held on. He hadn’t thought this far ahead—he just knew he didn’t want to be alone in that moment. He buried his face into Dabi’s shoulder, clinging a bit tighter.

“... I don’t know,” he whispered, barely audible. His voice cracked a bit.

He pulled back just enough to look at Dabi. "I hate this. I thought I might be fine after yesterday, but I'm not even close. My thoughts are louder than everything else, and I feel like I've gotten nowhere."

"It's alright. It takes time, Izuku." Dabi pulled the boy back into the hug.

"It just hurts that I still can't reach my goal no matter how hard I try." He mumbled.

Dabi nodded. He looked down as if he were scared to say something, but he decided he should. "Hey, Izuku? Do you regret being a villain?"

"Of course not! This is the first family I've ever actually had that felt like a family. The first people who didn't beat me every chance they got.. Well, excluding you know who... So, no, I don't regret it." He pulled out of the hug and started talking with his hands.

Dabi just gave him a sad look. He felt guilty for dragging Izuku into this. It was his fault. He was the one who recruited him.

He knew Izuku's life before this was hell, but he just felt like he dragged Izuku into a deeper layer.

The silence said everything Dabi was thinking. Izuku didn't blame him. Ever. He's never once thought any of this was Dabi's fault. He wanted to tell him, but he couldn't formulate the right words.

Izuku frowned, his hands dropping to his sides. "Dabi, I meant it. Being here… with all of you… it’s given me something I never had before." He settled on this indirect way of saying,'It's not your fault.'

Dabi nodded, but there was a hint of something in his eyes. "It’s just… I know how it feels to carry regret. It messes with you when you’re alone with your thoughts. If you ever feel like that... don’t let it eat at you."

"I know you know.. I just don't know how to handle this."

"Hey, kid?" Dabi broke the conversation.

"Yeah?"

"Toga and I were talking... and we think you should go back to UA." He forced out, scared of the smaller boy's reaction.

"I... I. Don't think I can.. things didn't play out well last time... now it's going to be worse.. I don't think I can handle it, Dabi." He stammered. His eyes met the floor.

"Do it for me, please? You won't have to spy or anything. You just gotta do what you want to do."

"There's another reason.." Izuku whispered.

"And that is?"

"When we attacked the USJ, Bakugo figured out that it was me." Izuku looked at the floor, avoiding eye contact.

"That's fine. He won't do anything." Dabi reassured. If it was anyone else. He would've snapped at them for being an idiot, but with him, he couldn't help but be soft.

"Yes, he will! You don't know Kacchan like I do! He'll use it against me!" He yelled frantically.

"Relax. If anything happens, I'll handle it. You just gotta stay in your dorm room and attend classes." Dabi tried to calm him. Panic attacks were horrible, and he wanted to limit them as much as possible.

His mind raced with several outcomes. So many things could go wrong. He could somehow be crushed even worse than he already was. As much as he hated to admit, hero students are fucking scary. They could single handedly destroy your life. Especially the ones with connections.

Only a few things could end up going right. He was terrified of taking the chance just for it to not work.

What if they all hate me?

What would they do if they found out I have multiple quirks?

What, then?

What about Kacchan? Is he mad at me?

Probably.

I mean, I killed two of his, well, our classmates.

But what if he doesn't hate me?

Izuku let out a sigh. "Alright."
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A/N

Sorry, this chapter is shorter. I didn't want to keep going and have ANOTHER 2,000 worder.

Title is from Lonely Road by mgk and Jelly Roll.