Meeting In The Purple Afterglow (Out Of My League Series #1)

Kabanata 14

Rejection 

I gripped the edge of the pool table, feeling the cold surface press into my fingertips. The purple sky had faded into night, with clouds swirling around the moon, casting a bright beam scattered over the conservatory. His silhouette stretched long across the floor. A shadow that was not just darkness but a lingering affection.

I’d expected him to say those words eventually, but not here, not now. I used to smile at moments like these, politely rejecting them effortlessly. But now that the confession was coming from him, why was it so hard to respond?

“Y-You don't have to say anything. You don't have to force yourself to accept this. But... just grant me the chance of liking you in silence. Please allow me…”

It was dark. The moon was enough to give us light. From his voice, I could tell he was holding back his emotions. The softness and brokenness in his voice made it seem like he was ready to bow, kneel, and plead like a servant to his king, like a sinner to his God, ready to atone for his sins.

I watched as he painfully looked up, as if wishing upon the stars to grant him a wish that I couldn't answer. It was like he was silently praying to heaven for me to allow him to like me.

When he finally looked down at me again, I could barely see his face. It was dark in the area where he stood, but I noticed the glint of something shining in the corner of his right eye. A tear.

Suminghap siya. 

Nakagat ko ang dila ko, hindi alam ang gagawin. 

Hindi ko kayang lumapit sa kanya ngayon. Parang lalo siyang nagb-break down ngayon, gaya ng inakala kong mangyayari nang banggitin ko na may kahalikan si Macey noon. Pero hindi tulad ng dati, hindi ko na siya kayang yakapin dahil lang sa awa. 

I am feeling something different, something I couldn't name. I wanted to hug him, but something is stopping me.

Just, damn this something. 

“Osiris…” He whispered my name in his softest voice, as if not calling it out with the utmost gentleness and perfect pronunciation would be a sin to him now.

I held my breath as it sent shivers down my spine.

"I-Im s-sorry for only saying this now."

“Sylvier, I need you to stop talking now.” 

Because I can't stand hearing how broken your voice has become. And I have no idea what to do to fix that, just as I don’t understand why I want to fix it.

"But I'm willing to take my chances for you to hear me out. I don't expect anything in return—just… just don’t tell me to stop liking you, because I have no idea how to do that, just as I have no idea how I even started liking you."

"Please…” he pleaded. 

Damn it! 

Why are you so willing to stoop for someone like me, who looks up to you?

Taranta kong nahampas ang pool table. Mahina akong napadaing sa sakit bago naglakas loob na suwayin siya.

“Quit begging, Sylvier."

“Sorry…" 

“Stop talking now."

“Pero may mga sasabihin pa ako—"

Tama na, ang sakit na ng dibdib at tiyan ko.

“Gabi na. Madilim na sa daan, uuwi ka pa.”

“Alright." he sighed defeatedly.