Sentience

37

Arabelle was trapped in her own thoughts, unable to simply ignore them; Changmin's query was consuming most of her head's space.

She used to convince herself that she shouldn't have cared about the lady who she inherited the blood from. She shouldn't have validated her as a mother after those years of suffering, and eventually, that was what she did as soon as she and Brianna were taken away by her father.

Her sister was a responsible person; the character of a firstborn was shining brightly from inside her. Even after they moved out, Brianna secretly checked on their mother; knowing how unstable the lady's emotion was. But, of course, it didn't last long because she then left the world for somewhere better.

Contrary to Brianna's personality, Belle is totally the opposite. During those years, she witnessed her sister suffer from bruises, injuries and pain; she unknowingly held back grudges, developing unspoken anger towards the woman she called Mother. And that, when she finally left the house, she felt free.

Thus, she was sure that she had never missed the lady.

However, Arabelle found herself pondering the fact. What if Changmin was right? That, she was being so careful around her stepmom because deep down, she felt like an outsider, and a small part of her was still thinking about her real mother.

What if it was true? Did she actually miss the lady?

Maybe some part of it was correct; that she was being careful around the new family members.

She often heard stories about the evil stepmothers. How they faked themselves to look nice only in front of their husband. And Belle didn't lie that she was scared, specifically after she lost Brianna. She never wanted to go back to the house where her real mother resided, and neither did she want to live in the street. She felt secure to be around her father but the fact that she was now alone amongst this new small family was scary.

She was worried if her stepmother didn't like her.

Although now she could confirm that Jinwoo's mother was far from what she thought, she still felt obliged to do something to repay the kindness for welcoming her into the house. Maybe, that was why she felt like an outcast.

Belle's daydream was forced to the finishing line as a soft nudge was impacted against her shoulder, snapping her back to the room where her humanity club members were discussing the upcoming festival. The one who was disturbing her was Amy, a playful smirk on her face as she plopped down next to her at the table.

"I see you and Changmin are now good..." She teased, nudging Belle again. "Where did you two go earlier? Have a date? Or..."

"Stop... right there," Belle panicked, truly worried that Amy would say anything inappropriate. The rumour about her and Changmin was still flying around the campus because the boy was too stubborn not to delete her pictures from his social. Therefore, Belle had never thought to add one more line to the groundless rumour.

"Why?" Amy shrieked. "I'm sure everyone is looking forward to seeing you two date. I mean, we've been waiting for too long now."

"W-Waiting?"

The confusion painted on Belle's face truly drove Amy crazy. Her belief was now concreted that Changmin's friends were right, Arabelle surely the oblivious one; oblivious of her feelings.

And so, Amy chose to conclude the topic there. For there was no use in elaborating more when the subject herself was still drowning in confusion.

"Anyway... they have started preparing the ingredients for our booth," Amy announced, pointing to a quite big box placed on the table. "There are the utensils."

Belle's movement afterwards was spontaneous. She was not sure why, but it intrigued her to peek inside, though she could've predicted the contents by now. Inside, there must be kitchen utensils because their club would be selling food, and the funds collected would be given to a charity body.

Her movement eventually stopped as her eyes darted inside the box. They, indeed, were what she had predicted: sets of kitchen utensils. Nonetheless, it was just strange why her gaze couldn't be broken from one of them; the small knife.

A wave of memory came visiting her head, replaying the scene in grey.

It was somewhere after the divorce of her parents when she no longer saw her father. Brianna and her were in the kitchen having breakfast when their mother joined in the most dishevelled look. The lady was peeling an apple by the sink; her choice for meals, when Brianna approached, suggesting something better for her to eat.

The firstborn was considerate. She even pointed out that the mother should have something nutritious, something that would give her enough energy to go through her day. But, the mother disagreed, and Brianna never gave up. She tried again and again; she even held the mother's hand, which was grasping the small knife, hoping that the utensil could be transferred into her hand instead.

But, to no avail, she failed.

Instead, her mother was enraged; her move was so excessive that the knife cut open Brianna's fingers.

Did her mother feel sorry? No, Belle was convinced. Because if the lady did, she wouldn't be saying this is your fault. If you just stay quiet, none of this would happen!

The simple memory unknowingly controlled Belle wholly, she seemed not to realize that her hand was moving towards the knife in the box, swiftly grasping the handle before she brought it out. Suddenly, she wondered how sharp it was that Brianna could be hurt from just a simple graze.

Can it kill? She internally thought as she inspected the knife from different angles.

Belle must have been in her head again while her free hand trailed along the metal part. She must have thought that all this was a dream and so, she wouldn't be hurt. Because she had pushed her flesh against the thin and sharp metal, hiss then escaped as the knife fell from her grasp.

"Belle!" Amy was alerted real quick, especially when Belle stepped back, holding back the pain as red liquid bubbled out from her skin. The latter put some pressure on top of the tissues she could reach, hoping that the blood would stop flowing. "I'll take you to the infirmary."

"It's a small cut, I think I'm fine," despite saying that, Belle was so obvious with her expression in holding back the pain.

"What if you get infection?" Amy questioned rather sternly; however, she didn't plan to hear any retaliation. So, she pulled her friend, dragging her out of the club room while things were still under control.

But, Amy should've known that with Belle, things would never be under control. At least not so easily.

"What happened there?!"

The two ran into Changmin for what assumed as he initially wanted to find Belle in the club. The boy was truly furious when the glimpse of the white tissues that were now slowly turning red was seen. He dashed forward, his free hand without the sling started inspecting.

"What were you doing to have this cut?!" He was enraged.

However, Belle had no answer. No, she couldn't answer. For, seeing Ji Changmin right in front of her eyes right now had helped her make up her mind.