Sentience

29

Brianna.

The name that obviously was familiar yet slowly had been forgotten. Although, Ji Changmin was once promised that he wouldn't be forgetting her name, sadly, he admitted that he did. However, if Changmin needed to reminisce a small part of the specific memory that was hiding at the back of his head, he surely could. He could even describe what kind of person Brianna was.

The girl existed in his life as a senior. Her name was quite big when she was still studying in the campus. Excelled in the study and also school activities, Brianna was an honourable student. She was one of the members of photography; Changmin and Chanhee knew her from there.

A happy-go-lucky senior, Chanhee had once given her a nickname. She always had her smile on whenever she ran into people; no matter who they were, never once did she look in a terrible mood. And Brianna was actually the senior who had helped Changmin adjust to the club.

There was one time while working on a project together, Brianna spoke something to the two boys. "I wish you guys could befriend my sister, Arabelle."

The boys exchanged confused stares, not quite understanding the sudden wish. Changmin had asked why, and the answer was a bit surprising.

"Belle doesn't have many friends and I trust you guys. I'm sure she will be okay under your care."

Chanhee didn't take it seriously. He even said that Brianna was rambling, he even laughed it off. Nonetheless, Ji Changmin didn't. He somehow was intrigued to dig deeper about this Arabelle and why Brianna wanted them to befriend her. Because, from a simple glance, Changmin could notice an unfamiliar emotion in the older's face, which the shade was grey, indescribable.

He first officially met Belle when he ran into the siblings in the hallway. Belle was wearing an oversized blue hoodie paired with black jeans and a pair of sneakers. Though it sounded weird for the first meet, he would say that she truly looked beautiful. Brianna was so eager to introduce them but faintly, the boy could say that Belle was awkward. So, Ji Changmin had always studied her from afar.

However, that was all backstory. The friendship Brianna hoped her sister could've started never happened. Not until she was no more here.

On that one dreaded windy day, while trailing the corridor towards the cafeteria, Changmin spotted Belle with a man; her father, and a staff from the administration. The three of them seemed to be talking; Belle was summoned out of her class. Suddenly, the girl fell on her knees, bawling her eyes out as her father slowly got down, pulling her into his embrace.

The emotion on Belle's face kept circling in the boy's head, and an idea was triggered; Brianna was protecting Belle. The thought eventually concreted when news spread within the campus grounds: Brianna had sadly left the world after 2 days of being hospitalized.

With the passing of her sister, Belle's whole world had fallen apart. She had gotten used to being a younger sister; Brianna had taken her role as the eldest among the siblings so well that Belle had difficulty doing everything on her own. She never expected that Brianna would leave the world so soon, so, she never thought to learn how to be an older sister to Jinwoo.

And Ji Changmin appeared in front of her to be the help along with an unspoken reason.

Grief was still darkened in Belle's life when the boy approached her. However, for some kind of reason, having him sit with her at the staircase leading to the rooftop of the campus didn't give any chance for any doubt to cloud over her to welcome him into her life. All because of what Changmin told her that day.

"I owe your sister... I'll pay everything through you."

Surprisingly, Arabelle never asked what the boy owed. In fact, she actually had forgotten about it. Changmin's existence in her life afterwards made things easier than she expected, which made her hold onto the philosophy that a rainbow will appear after rain.

For Arabelle, Ji Changmin was her rainbow.

Back in the pool, Changmin knew Belle was imagining Brianna, her memory had travelled back to those days the older was still here, by her side. And seeing her cry so much, reminiscing the dreaded days, frustrated him to the core. For, he had failed to protect her from sadness.

Nonetheless, right now, what had taken the most space of his head was: Anne's baby picture.

If his assumption was correct, that Anne was Brianna, how could he tell Mother that her daughter that she waited to come back for years actually was dead? And that, her longing for her firstborn would never heal. To make things worse, her younger daughter resented her for something nobody knew but themselves.

Maybe, this wasn't what it was. Maybe Mother had fallen into this situation, waiting for her daughter to come home, because she knew Brianna was dead. Sadness and grieving had led her into this situation because she had no support like how Changmin was supporting Belle.

However, the picture was still unfit. That was only a raw guess, nothing had proven right.

"The answer is with Belle," Changmin mumbled as he stared at his phone's dark screen. Even after almost an hour sitting in the cafe with his friends, the girl hadn't responded to his messages yet.

It frustrated Chanhee as the onlooker while the group trailed the sidewalk leading to the bus stop. His best friend never disclosed the real deal happening while they were alone in the gents, and now, Changmin suffered to hold on to his emotions alone. It made Chanhee want to roll his eyes.

"You know Belle never got so mad at you," Chanhee tried to console his dear friend, but his words were caught by the other two boys. "Maybe tomorrow, she will be fine."

Kevin gasped as he glanced over at Changmin. "You two fought? What it is about? A love quarrel?"

Then, Juyeon sighed, crossing his arms, "That's why you look so stressed back at the table. Buy her a chocolate bar, girls are so easy to coax."

At that, Ji Changmin bitterly chuckled. Chocolate? He cursed inside his head. "Belle is different from any girl you've flirted with, Juyeon. She's persistent with her emotion."

"So, it's true that you two are having a love quarrel!" Kevin cheered so loudly that a stray dog eventually halted next to him and glared at his soul.

"No!" Changmin denied in an octave higher. "You boys wouldn't understand any of the situation."

"Well... we would. If you tell us what happened," Juyeon replied that undoubtedly sounded wise. Maybe the wisest so far.

"My opinion is..." Chanhee then spoke up, "Just act normal. Treat her like how you always did. Show her that you are unaffected and maybe she will be fine. C'mon, Changmin... Belle has always softened to you."

The opinion also sounded valid but right now, Changmin wasn't sure if that was the best way. This marked their first fight; he was the one who triggered her emotions, and he was the one who made a mistake by saying that it was okay to lose her.

Maybe he did not. No, he would not be okay to lose a friend like her.

But, he had to try. For the sake of Mother, he had to make Belle talk to him.